Dave Barry Quotes About Beer

Quotes about: Beer

• What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

  Dave Barry

  Silly, Book, Cute Life

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

  Dave Barry

  Drinking, Book, Eye

  "The Taming of the Screw". Book by Dave Barry, 1983.

• Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

  Dave Barry

  Fun, Drinking, Book

  "Vegetable Magnetism" by Dave Barry, www.washingtonpost.com. March 17, 1991.

• Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

  Dave Barry

  Book, Drinking, Beer

  Dave Barry (2012). “The Greatest Invention in the History of Mankind Is Beer: And Other Manly Insights from Dave Barry”, p.112, Andrews McMeel Publishing

• I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

  Dave Barry

  Respect, Funny Inspirational, Party

  "Is Findlay’s water safe?". "The Courier" Interview, thecourier.com. February 15, 2016.

• When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer.

  Dave Barry

  Fun, Humorous, Home

• In the Bowling Alley of Tomorrow, there will even be machines that wear rental shoes and throw the ball for you. Your sole function will be to drink beer.

  Dave Barry

  Drinking, Beer, Shoes

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

• You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

  Dave Barry

  Cute, Birthday, Teenage

• All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

  Dave Barry

  Humorous, Drinking, Beer

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.18, Ballantine Books

• Your guess is as good as mine. Better probably, because you haven't had four beers.

  Dave Barry

  Beer, Four, Mines

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.217, Ballantine Books

• The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'

  Dave Barry

  Drinking, Beer, Letters

• In my experience, you run into trouble when you ask a group of beer-drinking men to perform any task more complex than remembering not to light the filter ends of cigarettes.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Running, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.86, Ballantine Books

• This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes to get a beer.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Beer, Balls

  "Boogers Are My Beat". Book by Dave Barry, September, 2003.

• The beer sold here in the United States is sweet and watery and lacking in taste and overcarbonated and just generally the lamest, wimpiest beer in the entire known world. All the other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer, and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Sweet, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.18, Ballantine Books

• Hardware: This is the part of the computer that stops working when you spill beer on it.

  Dave Barry

  Beer, Computer, Hardware

  Dave Barry (1997). “Dave Barry in Cyberspace”, Ballantine Books

• Fortunately the boat we rented had a motor in it You will definitely want this feature on your sailboat too, because if you put up the sails, the boat tips way over, and you could spill your beer.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Beer, Sailing

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.226, Ballantine Books

• The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

  Dave Barry

  Beer, Golf, Play

• What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person may seem like an absolute scream to another person, especially if he has had between four and seven beers.

  Dave Barry

  Depressing, Beer, Being Sad

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.1, Ballantine Books

• Never allow a child to spend all of his allowance. Insist that he set aside a certain amount of money every week and put it in a safe place, where you can get it if you need to buy beer.

  Dave Barry

  Children, Beer, Needs

  Dave Barry (2006). “Dave Barry's Money Secrets: Like: Why Is There a Giant Eyeball on the Dollar?”, p.88, Crown Archetype

• Recently I began to feel this void in my life, even after meals, and I said to myself, "Dave, all you do with your spare time is sit around and drink beer. You need a hobby." So I got a hobby. I make beer.

  Dave Barry

  Beer, Hobbies, Meals

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.17, Ballantine Books

• In more than 20 years of opening beers with guys, I have NEVER seen the Swedish Bikini Team show up. Almost always, the teams that show up in beer drinking situations consist of guys who have been playing league softball and smell like bus seats.

  Dave Barry

  Softball, Team, Drinking

• I did all this stuff that was illegal when I was a kid. I drank beer when I was 15. I smoked cigarettes when I was 13. I drove to New York City when I was 14 - don't tell my son. Those things were against the law, but I did them anyway. I didn't become a heroin addict, although I probably could have gotten heroin somehow. I don't think my son would buy heroin at any price. He knows what it is, and he knows how stupid it is.

  Dave Barry

  New York, Stupid, Kids

  ""All I Think Is That It's Stupid": An Interview with Dave Barry". Interview with Glenn Garvin, reason.com. December, 1994.

• If God had wanted us to spend all our time fretting about the problems of home ownership, He would never have created beer. This is not to say that I am recommending that you totally ignore your responsibilities as a homeowner and just sit around all day with a can of beer in your hand. No indeed, I have long been a believer in purchasing bottled beer, and pouring it into a chilled glass.

  Dave Barry

  Responsibility, Home, Beer

  Dave Barry (2010). “Homes and Other Black Holes”, p.8, Ballantine Books

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