Dave Barry Quotes About Earth

Quotes about: Earth

• I recently had my annual physical examination, which I get once every seven years, and when the nurse weighed me, I was shocked to discover how much stronger the Earth's gravitational pull has become since 1990.

  Dave Barry

  Inspiring, Weight Loss, Years

• Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water.

  Dave Barry

  Spring, Thinking, Self

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.2, Ballantine Books

• What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth ? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humor, Science

• The population of earth has reached 7 billion people, every single one of whom send you irritating emails to join something called "LinkedIn."

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Technology, People

• Here's a man who was twice elected to the most powerful position on Earth despite needing a TelePrompTer to correctly identify what year it was.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Powerful, Men

  Dave Barry (1994). “The World According to Dave Barry”, Outlet

• Sailboats are the slowest form of transportation on Earth with the possible exeption of airline flights that go through O'Hare.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Food

• The universe has fascinated mankind for many, many years, dating back to the very earliest episodes of Star Trek, when the brave crew of the Enterprise set out, wearing pajamas, to explore the boundless voids of space, which turned out to be as densely populated as Queens, New York. Virtually every planet they found was inhabited, usually by evil beings with cheap costumes and Russian accents, so finally the brave crew of the Enterprise returned to Earth to gain weight and make movies.

  Dave Barry

  Stars, Queens, New York

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Greatest Hits”, p.270, Ballantine Books

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