Dave Barry Quotes About Cats

Quotes about: Cats

• Dogs would make totally incompetent criminals. If you could somehow get a group of dogs to understand the concept of the Kennedy assassination, they would all immediately confess to it. Whereas you'll never see a cat display any kind of guilty behavior, despite the fact that several cats were seen in Dallas on the grassy knoll area, not that I wish to start rumors.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Cat, Wish

• Cats are independent, by which I mean smart.

  Dave Barry

  Smart, Cat, Independent

• Unlike cats dogs never scratch you when you wash them. They just become very sad and try to figure out what they did wrong.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Cat, Trying

• Derangement is the only possible explanation for owning a cat, an animal whose preferred mode of communication is to sink its claws three-quarters of an inch into your flesh.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Communication, Humor

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.127, Crown Archetype

• You've read newspaper stories about elderly widows who die and leave their entire estates to their pet cats, right? Well, your cat reads those stories too, and has spent most of its skulking, devious little life dreaming about inheriting all your money.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Dream, Humor

  Dave Barry (1984). “Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have Around the Home”, p.56, Rodale

• There was nowhere to sit except the bunk, which was covered with rotting food, and a wooden stool, upon which sat a large fur-covered lump—an old cheese, perhaps, or a dead cat.

  Dave Barry

  Cat, Fur, Rotting

• Do not put this product in a big vat and drop rats into it from a cat-walk.

  Dave Barry

  Cat, Rats, Vat

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