Dave Barry Quotes About God

Quotes about: God

• Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

  Dave Barry

  God, Writing, Stupidity

• Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

  Dave Barry

  God, Stupid, Abuse

• I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

  Dave Barry

  God, Ice, Stupidity

• Chair lifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.

  Dave Barry

  God, Views, Stupidity

• Of course God enjoys a good prank as much as the next infallible deity.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, God, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2009). “Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus”, p.120, Ballantine Books

• Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.

  Dave Barry

  God, Appreciate, Stupidity

• For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.

  Dave Barry

  God, People, Stupidity

• Trails need to be reconstructed. Please avoid building trails that go uphill.

  Dave Barry

  God, Stupidity, Needs

• If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

  Dave Barry

  God, Swimming, Whales

• Dinner Special - Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

  Dave Barry

  God, Children, Turkeys

• Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

  Dave Barry

  God, Jobs, Laughing

• Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.

  Dave Barry

  God, Horse, Stupidity

• Sign at a Tennessee highway: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.

  Dave Barry

  God, Water, Stupidity

• Murphy's golden rule: Whoever has the gold, makes the rules.

  Dave Barry

  God, Stupidity, Gold

• Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.

  Dave Barry

  God, Animal, Walking Sticks

• Sign at a New England church: Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished?

  Dave Barry

  God, Light, Stupidity

• Too many rocks in the mountains.

  Dave Barry

  God, Rocks, Stupidity

• Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.

  Dave Barry

  God, Hands, People

• Sign outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

  Dave Barry

  God, Country, Stupidity

• Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.

  Dave Barry

  God, Night, Feet

• Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce worldwide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.

  Dave Barry

  God, Numbers, Stupidity

• Sign at a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

  Dave Barry

  God, Dirty, Kentucky

• The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.

  Dave Barry

  God, Animal, Night

• A small deer came into my camp and stole my bag of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call.

  Dave Barry

  God, Stupidity, Bags

• Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.

  Dave Barry

  God, Paper, Lines

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