Dave Barry Quotes About Golf

Quotes about: Golf

• Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

  Dave Barry

  Inspirational, Funny, Sports

  Dave Barry (1985). “Dave Barry's Stay Fit and Healthy Until You're Dead”, p.32, Rodale

• Talking about golf is always boring. Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part where you try to hit the little ball; only the part where you drive the cart.

  Dave Barry

  Golf, Talking, Interesting

  Dave Barry (2009). “Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus”, p.104, Ballantine Books

• For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the ball.

  Dave Barry

  Golf, Balls, Literature

• You can, legally, possibly hit and kill a fellow golfer with a ball, and there will not be a lot of trouble because the other golfers will refuse to stop and be witnesses because they will want to keep playing.

  Dave Barry

  Golf, Balls, Want

• The Japanese eat, sleep, and breathe golf; the only thing they don't do is actually play it, because to get on a course, you have to make a reservation roughly 137 years in advance, which means that by the time you actually get to the first tee you are deceased. Of course, in golf this is not really a handicap.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Mean

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Does Japan”, p.144, Ballantine Books

• The great thing about golf - and this is the reason why a lot of health experts like me recommend it - you can drink beer and ride in a cart while you play.

  Dave Barry

  Beer, Golf, Play

• I like golf because you can be really terrible at it, and still not look much dorkier than anybody else.

  Dave Barry

  Golf, Looks, Terrible

• A long memory is the most subversive idea in America. A tautology is a thing which is tautological. A witty saying proves nothing, but saying something pointless gets people's attention. If your kids look like you, it's hereditory. If they look like the neighbor, it's the environment. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

  Dave Barry

  Witty, Memories, Kids

• If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will. If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%? In Africa some of the native tribes have a custom of beating the ground with clubs and uttering spine chilling cries. Anthropologists call this a form of primitive self-expression. In America we call it golf.

  Dave Barry

  Golf, Self, Expression

• Advice to expectant mothers: you must remember that when you are pregnant, you are eating for two. But you must remember that the other one of you is about the size of a golf ball, so let's not go overboard with it. I mean, a lot of pregnant women eat as though the other person they're eating for is Orson Welles.

  Dave Barry

  Mother, Mean, Golf

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