Dave Barry Quotes About Cars

Quotes about: Cars

• Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Animal, Car

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.118, Crown Archetype

• The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They're the kind of people who'd stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn't bother to stop because they'd want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club

  Dave Barry

  Country, Night, Fire

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Turns Forty”, p.124, Ballantine Books

• Technology is constantly improving our lives. Look at the cellular telephone. Just ten years ago, virtually nobody was able to get into a car crash caused by trying to steer and dial at the same time; today, people do this all the time.

  Dave Barry

  Technology, Years, People

  Dave Barry (1994). “Dave Barry's Gift Guide to End All Gift Guides”, Crown Pub

• Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down.

  Dave Barry

  Nascar Racing, Literature, Upside Down

  Dave Barry (2009). “Dave Barry Is from Mars and Venus”, p.104, Ballantine Books

• The average tax payer is not a big voluntary supporter of the arts. The only art that the average taxpayer buys voluntarily either has a picture of Bart Simpson on it or little suction cups on its feet so you can stick it onto a car window.

  Dave Barry

  Art, Average, Feet

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.146, Crown Archetype

• Just get on any major highway, and eventually it will dead-end in a Disney parking area large enough to have its own climate, populated by large nomadic families who have been trying to find their cars since the Carter administration.

  Dave Barry

  Travel, Car, Trying

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.57, Ballantine Books

• ...Terry Jackson, who is the Miami Herald's automotive writer and TV critic. That's correct: This man gets paid to drive new cars AND watch television. If he ever dies and goes to heaven, it's going to be a big let down.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Men, Car

  Dave Barry (2003). “Boogers Are My Beat: More Lies, but Some Actual Journalism”, p.100, Crown Archetype

• You should definitely have a travel agent. Why go through all the hassle of dealing with airlines, hotels, and rental-car agencies yourself, only to see the arrangements get all screwed up, when with just a single phone call you can have a trained professional screw them up for you?

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Agency, Phones

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.21, Ballantine Books

• Real cars were made here in America: Fords, Chevys, Plymouths. These were large chunks of Detroit iron - cars that had the size, weight, and handling characteristics of aircraft carriers but worse fuel efficiency.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Real, Humorous

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Does Japan”, p.8, Ballantine Books

• There are also a number of humans living up there (Canada), and in many ways they have a lifestyle quite similar to ours, including such traditional American activities as driving Japanese cars.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Humorous, Numbers

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry's Only Travel Guide You'll Ever Need”, p.100, Ballantine Books

• Here in Miami, on weekends, amusement-seekers will come to the marina, set up folding chairs, and spend a highly entertaining day watching boat owners perform comical maneuvers such as forgetting to set their parking brakes and having their cars roll down the ramp and disappear, burbling gaily, below the surface.

  Dave Barry

  Funny, Weekend, Car

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.88, Crown Archetype

• I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems.

  Dave Barry

  Hate, Car, Pits

• Teenagers are bored. By everything. Show a teenager an actual volcanic eruption, in progress, featuring giant billowing clouds of smoke, hot rocks raining from the sky, lava floes destroying entire villages, etc., and the teenager, eyebrows arched with sarcasm, will look at you and say, "Gee, this is swell," then return to the rental car, turn on his portable CD player, and listen to a band called Stomach Contents.

  Dave Barry

  Teenager, Rain, Sarcasm

  "Whining Down The Country's Roads With Dave Barry And Family". community.seattletimes.nwsource.com. September 1, 1991.

• We have always had dogs, and they have faithfully performed many valuable services for us, such as: 1. Peeing on everything. 2. When we're driving in our car, alerting us that we have passed another dog by barking real loud in our ears for the next 114 miles. 3. Trying to kill the Avon lady.

  Dave Barry

  Dog, Real, Car

  Dave Barry (1995). “Homes and Other Black Holes”, Random House Digital, Inc.

• Miami drivers will attempt to pass you inside a car wash.

  Dave Barry

  Cities, Car, Miami

• The Ford Falcon holds the proud title of Slowest Car Ever Built. In certain areas of the country you can go to a stoplight and find Falcon drivers who pressed down on their accelerators in 1963 and are still waiting for their cars to move.

  Dave Barry

  Country, Moving, Car

  Dave Barry (2010). “Dave Barry Talks Back”, p.39, Crown Archetype

• Every year I write a tax advice column and I used to always make fun of that. One year, one of my favorite IRS commissioners, I think his name was Roscoe somebody, wrote that one of the most often-asked questions by taxpayers was, "How can I contribute more?" Well, I tell ya, ol' Roscoe's really been doing situps under parked cars again. I've heard a lot of people ask a lot of questions about taxes, but I never heard anybody say, "How can I, the ordinary person, send more money for no reason?"

  Dave Barry

  Fun, Writing, Thinking

  "All I Think Is That It's Stupid". Interview with Glenn Garvin, reason.com. December, 1994.

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