Dov Davidoff Quotes

Quotes about:

• I think you have a lot to offer... not necessarily as a person, but as an organ donor.

  Dov Davidoff

  Thinking, Donors, Organ Donor

  12 Copy quote

• I wonder if anybody ever decided to commit suicide, then thought; but first I'm going to stop by that taco place I like so much.

  Dov Davidoff

  Suicide, Tacos, Firsts

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Jun 10, 2012

  6 Copy quote

• Can you spare some change? is never a good pick up line.

  Dov Davidoff

  Lines, Pick Up Line, Spare Change

  6 Copy quote

• I spend so much time alone that whenever I see my shadow I feel crowded.

  Dov Davidoff

  Shadow, Alone Time, Feels

  6 Copy quote

• Unlicensed, illegal immigrants are the safest drivers on the road.

  Dov Davidoff

  Immigration, Illegal, Drivers

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Feb 15, 2012

  4 Copy quote

• Is it cynical to assume that anyone smiling is a liar and a criminal?

  Dov Davidoff

  Liars, Cynical, Criminals

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Jun 06, 2012

  5 Copy quote

• If only St. Valentine was around to see his memory celebrated through the mindless marketing of whipping cream and lingerie.

  Dov Davidoff

  Memories, Valentine, Marketing

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Feb 12, 2012

  8 Copy quote

• If you're an adult and still think material wealth leads to happiness, might I suggest not being a moron.

  Dov Davidoff

  Happiness, Thinking, Adults

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Feb 21, 2012

  8 Copy quote

• Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

  Dov Davidoff

  Life Is, Tourettes, Cases

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Jul 16, 2011

  45 Copy quote

• I don't know about you, but I like to fall in love on Mondays. This way if things go south right away you still have the weekend.

  Dov Davidoff

  Falling In Love, Monday, Weekend

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Sep 15, 2011

  9 Copy quote

• The expectation of happiness creates a lot of unhappiness.

  Dov Davidoff

  Happiness, Expectations, Unhappiness

  Dov Davidoff (2017). “Road Dog: Life and Reflections from the Road as a Stand-up Comic”, p.153, St. Martin's Press

  5 Copy quote

• Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

  Dov Davidoff

  Cupcakes, World, Brunette

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Jan 29, 2012

  40 Copy quote

• Brain damage and stupidity are very different things, but can have similar effects on the wearer.

  Dov Davidoff

  Stupidity, Brain, Different

  7 Copy quote

• Statistically speaking, when a woman says I'm not going to have sex with you, she'll often have sex with you.

  Dov Davidoff

  Sex

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Jul 16, 2011

  5 Copy quote

• The quality of a restaurant's food is inversely proportioned to the amount of fun its staff seems to be having.

  Dov Davidoff

  Fun, Quality, Staff

  6 Copy quote

• Lack of sleep is only bad if you have to drive, or think, or talk, or move.

  Dov Davidoff

  Moving, Sleep, Thinking

  7 Copy quote

• A picture is worth a thousand words, but conversations with them generally end in dissapointment.

  Dov Davidoff

  Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words, Ends, Conversation

  4 Copy quote

• Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

  Dov Davidoff

  Happiness, Animal, Games

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Jul 20, 2011

  25 Copy quote

• If you got it, flaunt it may be decent advice for prostitutes, but no one else.

  Dov Davidoff

  Advice, May, Decent

  4 Copy quote

• Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

  Dov Davidoff

  Couple, Giving, Want

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Jun 04, 2012

  15 Copy quote

• You can tell a lot about a person by whether or not they're a transvestite.

  Dov Davidoff

  Transvestites, Persons

  4 Copy quote

• Space and time are figments of you're imagination, unless the guy you're flying next to won't shut up.

  Dov Davidoff

  Space, Imagination, Guy

  FaceBook post by Dov Davidoff from Feb 10, 2012

  5 Copy quote

• When being interviewed by a woman for a job, never begin with listen up doll face.

  Dov Davidoff

  Jobs, Dolls, Faces

  4 Copy quote

• Age is just a number, unless of course your trying to have a conversation with them.

  Dov Davidoff

  Numbers, Age, Trying

  6 Copy quote

• Someday I'd like to be a father, not of a human child, but something more reasonable.

  Dov Davidoff

  Children, Father, Someday

  7 Copy quote

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