Demetri Martin Quotes - Page 16

Quotes about:

• A lot of things look cooler in slow motion. Eating isn't one of them.

  Demetri Martin

  Looks, Slow Motion, Eating

  Twitter post from Nov 23, 2013

  27 Copy quote

• Separate but equal is terrible for education but it's perfect for eyebrows.

  Demetri Martin

  Eyebrows, Perfect, Terrible

  4 Copy quote

• I walk around and think about things. When I come across a thought that makes me laugh, I write it down. Then, at night, I say the thought to people through a microphone. I don't think about politics or pop culture very much, so those thoughts don't often make it to the microphone.

  Demetri Martin

  Writing, Night, Thinking

  Source: www.avclub.com

  6 Copy quote

• Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

  Demetri Martin

  Want, Today, Forget

  4 Copy quote

• There are jokes I know I want to tell, and there's sort of a rough order, but usually I try to change it up every show, to improvise and talk with the audience. I think when you tell jokes, if you're not careful, you can end up telling the whole list of jokes and then that's it. And that can get a little boring.

  Demetri Martin

  Thinking, Order, Trying

  Source: www.isthmus.com

  4 Copy quote

• Futon World - a wonderful place that becomes slowly less comfortable over time.

  Demetri Martin

  World, Wonderful, Futons

  7 Copy quote

• Like a lot of people, I’ve always enjoyed commenting on strangers’ outfits. Unlike a lot of people, I now had a new megaphone to do it with. And, let me tell you, commenting on people’s hilarious clothing choices through a megaphone makes it so much better.

  Demetri Martin

  People, Choices, Stranger

  Demetri Martin (2011). “This Is A Book”, p.23, Penguin UK

  53 Copy quote

• There's an old Russian saying that goes some way or another. I don't know it. I don't speak Russian. But sometimes I think about it and wonder if it's relevant to what I'm going through at the time. Probably not. I mean what do Russian know about hunger, anyway?

  Demetri Martin

  Mean, Thinking, Way

  4 Copy quote

• I don't have to kill myself, time is going to do that.

  Demetri Martin

  4 Copy quote

• I'm always excited to try something I haven't done.

  Demetri Martin

  Trying, Done, Excited

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• I am completely attracted to the idea of simplicity, or at least removing things that seem unnecessary when trying to get an idea out there.

  Demetri Martin

  Ideas, Simplicity, Trying

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  4 Copy quote

• You get really disillusioned, because you thought you were in love. But you realize that you're just alone.

  Demetri Martin

  Realizing, Get Real, Disillusioned

  5 Copy quote

• When I trip, I feel like that's the world saying come here for a second. It just pulls me closer for a second, yeah what do you want? I just want to remind you that you're uncoordinated. I'm aware of that, thank you... can I go now? Yeah, you can go, but never ever try to outrun me. Ok, world, see you later. Yeah, I'll see you in about 50 years.

  Demetri Martin

  Years, Trying, World

  4 Copy quote

• You can make a very heavy and kind of dangerous 3-way shot glass out of a bowling ball.

  Demetri Martin

  Glasses, Balls, Way

  Twitter post from Jul 27, 2012

  4 Copy quote

• At the battle of the bands the loser's always the audience.

  Demetri Martin

  Battle, Band, Loser

  4 Copy quote

• Some of them relate to farts but they are not fart jokes. They would just be a fart in the joke but it's about something else.

  Demetri Martin

  Fart, Relate, Jokes

  4 Copy quote

• When I am at rodeo I find it difficult not to root for the animals.

  Demetri Martin

  Animal, Roots, Rodeo

  Twitter post from Feb 21, 2011

  4 Copy quote

• One of the most difficult and ironic murder weapons is the life jacket.

  Demetri Martin

  Ironic, Weapons, Murder

  Twitter post from Mar 31, 2011

  4 Copy quote

• My friend says touche way too much. He's a touche bag.

  Demetri Martin

  Bags, Too Much, Way

  Twitter post from Apr 21, 2011

  4 Copy quote

• Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punchline.

  Demetri Martin

  Short Love, Ideas, Punchlines

  Interview with Steve Heisler, tv.avclub.com. February 25, 2009.

  5 Copy quote

• They say it's lonely at the top. It must be even lonelier at the tippy top.

  Demetri Martin

  Lonely, Lonely At The Top

  Twitter post from Aug 04, 2011

  6 Copy quote

• Multi-Choice question: My dishwasher is: efficient; hilarious.

  Demetri Martin

  Choices, Dishwashers, Efficient

  4 Copy quote

• I think if I pick the right thing to spend my time doing, then time moves differently, because I really can get fully immersed in things and feel very alive and challenged, but in a good way. I feel a sense of progress.

  Demetri Martin

  Moving, Thinking, Progress

  Source: maximumfun.org

  4 Copy quote

• It's not enough to say I'm sorry. You have to also mean it. It's the same with saying I'm single.

  Demetri Martin

  Sorry, Mean, Enough

  Twitter post from Dec 28, 2010

  5 Copy quote

• I wanna design a video game where you'd have to take care of all the people shot in all the other video games.

  Demetri Martin

  Games, People, Design

  4 Copy quote

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