Fart Quotes

• A happy fart never comes from a miserable ass.

  Martin Luther

  Miserable, Ass

  531 Copy quote

• Fart for freedom, fart for liberty—and fart proudly.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Liberty

  47 Copy quote

• We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Hipster, Religion, Different

  "A Man Without a Country: A Memoir Of Life In George W Bush's America". Book by Kurt Vonnegut, September 15, 2005.

  90 Copy quote

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• 

  If I fail, the film industry writes me off as another statistic. If I succeed, they pay me a million bucks to fly out to Hollywood and fart.

  George A. Romero

  Writing, Bucks, Statistics

  88 Copy quote

• Let every fart count as a peal of thunder for liberty. Let every fart remind the nation of how much it has let pass out of its control. It is a small gesture, but one that can be very effective - especially in a large crowd. So fart, and if you must, fart often. But always fart without apology. Fart for freedom, fart for liberty - and fart proudly.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Apology, Liberty, Small Gestures

  Benjamin Franklin, Carl Japikse (2003). “Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School”, p.128, Frog Books

  32 Copy quote

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• I don't feel so good." Lula said. And she farted. She squeezed her eyes shut tight and did a full minute-long fart. "Excuse me." she said. I was horrified and impressed all at the same time. It was a record breaking fart. On my best day, I couldn't come near to farting like that.

  Janet Evanovich

  Eye, Records Breaking, Long

  4 Copy quote

• Relationships are like farting, If you push too hard things could get messy real fast.

  Kevin Hart

  Real, Messy, Hard

  FaceBook post by Kevin Hart from Jan 03, 2012

  66 Copy quote

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• If I could light my own farts I could fly to the moon or at least Uranus.

  Robin Williams

  Moon, Light, My Own

  27 Copy quote

• Every man knows the smell of his own fart.

  Confucius

  Men, Smell, Knows

  22 Copy quote

• My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.

  Jenny McCarthy

  Women, Philosophy, Dating

  30 Copy quote

• My father once told me, and it's stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.

  Bob Saget

  Father, Stuck, Walks

  Twitter post from Jun 20, 2013

  20 Copy quote

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• When I fart my ass makes a trumpet sound that heralds the arrival of the smell.

  Adam Carolla

  Funny, Humor, Smell

  25 Copy quote

• Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there's nothing funnier.

  George Clooney

  Ideas, Phones, Laughing

  "George Clooney on Stacy Keibler, Fart Jokes" by Antoinette Bueno, www.etonline.com. November 9, 2011.

  4 Copy quote

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• Success is like a fart - only your own smells nice.

  James P. Hogan

  Success, Nice, Smell

  12 Copy quote

• A fart in the face is love.

  James Kidd

  Faces

  5 Copy quote

• A man who farts in bed . . . is a man who loves life.

  Muriel Barbery

  Love Life, Men, Bed

  9 Copy quote

• A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by it's own farts

  Frank Skinner

  Funny, Dog, Intelligent

  51 Copy quote

• What is like a smelly fart, that, although invisible is obvious? One's own faults, that are precisely As obvious as the effort made to hide them.

  7th Dalai Lama

  Humility, Pride, Effort

  47 Copy quote

• Any man can fart in a closed room and say that he commands the wind

  Scott Lynch

  Men, Wind, Rooms

  Scott Lynch (2007). “Red Seas Under Red Skies”, p.173, Del Rey

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• A fart is just your arse applauding.

  Billy Connolly

  Funny, Humor, Arses

  9 Copy quote

• It would be nice if people said, God bless you not just when you sneezed but also when you farted.

  Demetri Martin

  Nice, People, Would Be

  Twitter post from Nov 18, 2013

  28 Copy quote

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• We're here on Earth to fart around

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Earth

  Kurt Vonnegut, Lee Stringer (2011). “Like Shaking Hands with God: A Conversation about Writing”, p.10, Seven Stories Press

  10 Copy quote

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• Your job today is to pass gas. You do that and we can start feeding you liquids. No fart, no food.

  Khaled Hosseini

  Jobs, Today, Liquid

  Khaled Hosseini (2009). “The Kite Runner”, p.250, A&C Black

  11 Copy quote

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• In real life people fart, in the movies, people don't. Why not? Farts are a repressed minority. The mouth gets to say all kinds of things, but the other place is supposed to keep quiet. But maybe our lower colons have something interesting to say. Maybe we should listen to them. Farts are human, more human than a lot of people I know. I think we should bring them out of the water closet and into the parlor.

  Mel Brooks

  Real, Thinking, People

  9 Copy quote

• Love is the fart
  Of every heart
  It pains the man when 'tis kept close,
  And others doth offend, when 'tis let loose.

  John Suckling

  Pain, Heart, Love Is

  1646 'Love's Offence'.

  49 Copy quote

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