Ass Quotes

• If someone tells you you're not beautiful, turn around and walk away so they can have a great view of your fabulous ass.

  Miley Cyrus

  Funny, Beautiful, Hater

  65 Copy quote

• My name, the McGregor name, my family's motto ... means royal is in my blood. That goes way back. So for [Aldo] to say he is the king and I am the joker, if this was a different time, I would invade his favela on horseback and kill anyone that was not fit to work. But we are in a new time. So I'll whoop his ass in July.

  Conor McGregor

  Kings, Mean, July

  24 Copy quote

• Marry, sir, they praise me and make an ass of me. Now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass; so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself, any by my friends I am abused; so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why then, the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes.

  William Shakespeare

  Kissing, Negatives Make, Two

  William Shakespeare, Richard Proudfoot, Ann Thompson, David Scott Kastan (2000). “The Arden Shakespeare Complete Works”, p.1211, Cengage Learning EMEA

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• Anybody who thinks that 'it doesn't matter who's President' has never been Drafted and sent off to fight and die in a vicious, stupid war on the other side of the world-or been beaten and gassed by Police for trespassing on public property-or been hounded by the IRS for purely political reasons-or locked up in the Cook County Jail with a broken nose and no phone access and twelve perverts wanting to stomp your ass in the shower. That is when it matters who is President or Governor or Police Chief. That is when you will wish you had voted.

  Hunter S. Thompson

  Stupid, War, Fighting

  Hunter S. Thompson (2012). “Hey Rube: Blood Sport, the Bush Doctrine, and the Downward Spiral of Dumbness”, p.294, Pan Macmillan

  166 Copy quote

  Show source

• "You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is your neighbor's." Your neighbor is clearly a male, and the woman, the ox and the ass are property of the male. That's not morality I will salute today.

  John Shelby Spong

  Wife, Males, Today

  Source: mormon-chronicles.blogspot.com

  4 Copy quote

  Show source

• The world is so ass-backwards it almost makes you wish you were dyslexic.

  Dennis Miller

  Wish, World, Backwards

  "Dennis Miller: The Raw Feed". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. April 12, 2003.

  22 Copy quote

  Show source

• Is there anything so grave and serious as an ass?

  Michel de Montaigne

  Serious, Graves, Gravity

  4 Copy quote

• I've done tangos with men who thought my ass was a squeaky toy.

  Mira Grant

  Men, Toys, Done

  5 Copy quote

• FEMA I always thought was a bone here in your ass.

  Lewis Black

  Bones

  4 Copy quote

• If you make an ass out of yourself, there will always be someone to ride you.

  Bruce Lee

  Insult, Ifs

  Bruce Lee (2015). “Bruce Lee Striking Thoughts: Bruce Lee's Wisdom for Daily Living”, p.88, Tuttle Publishing

  36 Copy quote

  Show source

• Why you got your ass on your shoulders?

  Busta Rhymes

  Friendship, Shoulders

  Song: Ass On Your Shoulders, Album: Genesis, 2001

  20 Copy quote

  Show source

• Acid, booze, and ass, needles, guns, and grass, lots of laughs.

  Joni Mitchell

  Gun, Laughing, Alcohol

  Song: Blue on Blue

  6 Copy quote

  Show source

• I'm ambidextrous, I slap ass with both hands.

  Ludacris

  Hands, Egotism, Ambidextrous

  Song: Cry Babies, Album: Word of Mouf

  33 Copy quote

  Show source

• But where did this veneration of childbirth come from? I missed that meeting. Childbirth is wonderful, childbirth is a miracle. Wrong. It's no more a miracle than eating food and a turd coming out your ass.

  Bill Hicks

  Sex, Miracle, Wonderful

  9 Copy quote

• If I had one wish I would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss.

  Eminem

  Kissing, Wish, World

  Song: If i had

  163 Copy quote

  Show source

• If it's illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!

  Kurt Cobain

  Rocks, Rock And Roll, Jail

  92 Copy quote

• I want women to be liberated and still be able to have a nice ass and shake it.

  Shirley MacLaine

  Dance, Nice, Feminism

  25 Copy quote

• Sometimes I'm an ass, sometimes I'm sweet as peaches.

  Milo Ventimiglia

  Sweet, Peaches, Sometimes

  53 Copy quote

• My ass contemplates those who talk behind my back.

  Francis Picabia

  Gossip, Behind My Back, Contemplating

  "Francis Picabia, Trouble Maker" by Peter Schjeldahl, www.newyorker.com. November 28, 2016.

  29 Copy quote

  Show source

• Cyclists are a pain in the ass.

  Rob Ford

  Pain, Cyclists

  6 Copy quote
• 

  When my time on earth is done and my activities here are past, I want them to bury me upside down, so my critics can kiss my ass.

  Bobby Knight

  Inspirational, Basketball, Sports

  "Knight moves to Texas" by Kevin Asseo, news.bbc.co.uk. March 22, 2001.

  92 Copy quote

  Show source

• I have never seen an ass who talked like a human being, but I have met many human beings who talked like asses.

  Heinrich Heine

  Literature, Public Speaking, Mets

  44 Copy quote

• You gotta love livin', baby, 'cause dyin' is a pain in the ass.

  Frank Sinatra

  Music, Baby, Pain

  15 Copy quote

• The ass bears the load, but not the overload.

  Miguel de Cervantes

  Excess, Bears, Overload

  Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (1872). “Sancho Panza's Proverbs: And Others which Occur in Don Quixote”, p.4

  9 Copy quote

  Show source

• First there was Greek civilization. Then there was the Renaissance. Now we’re entering the Age of the Ass.

  Jean-Luc Godard

  Civilization, Greek, Age

  30 Copy quote