Ironic Quotes

• 

  With every mistake, we must surely be learning.

  George Harrison

  Hope, Mistake, Irony

  Song: While My Guitar Gently Weeps Acoustic Version

  102 Copy quote

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• My goal in life is to be as happy as a studio audience.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Goal, Comedy

  FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from Feb 05, 2013

  6 Copy quote

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• As believers, you don't need to pray for a new heart, you need to pray for a new head.

  Andrew Wommack

  God, Faith, Christian

  FaceBook post by Andrew Wommack Ministries from Apr 12, 2013

  100 Copy quote

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• 

  People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

  Isaac Asimov

  Funny, Hilarious, Sarcastic

  "The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners" edited by Geoff Tibballs, (p. 299), 2004.

  386 Copy quote

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• Being on the edge isn't as safe, but the view is better

  Ricky Gervais

  Views, Safe, Edges

  FaceBook post by Ricky Gervais from Oct 11, 2013

  16 Copy quote

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• It is of interest to note that while some dolphins are reported to have learned English - up to fifty words used in correct context - no human being has been reported to have learned dolphinese.

  Carl Sagan

  Motivational, Learning, Humility

  24 Copy quote
• 

  I have never killed any one, but I have read some obituary notices with great satisfaction.

  Clarence Darrow

  Life, Death, Sarcastic

  "The Story of My Life". Book by Clarence Darrow, 1932.

  129 Copy quote

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• You [men] are our protectors, is not true; for if you were, who would there be to protect us from?

  Mary Edwards Walker

  Inspiring, Men, Protection

  "Hit".

  166 Copy quote

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• Humility is so shy. If you begin talking about it, it leaves.

  Timothy Keller

  Funny, Humility, Talking

  10 Copy quote

• The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Life, Success, Inspire

  80 Copy quote

• When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.

  Rich Hall

  Funny, Witty, Work

  103 Copy quote

• It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity.

  Dennis Miller

  Scary, Enough Time, Culture

  10 Copy quote

• Prison is the only form of public housing that the government has truly invested in over the past 5 decades

  Marc Lamont Hill

  Past, Jail, Government

  59 Copy quote

• All language is but a poor translation.

  Franz Kafka

  Novelists, Language, Poor

  "Franz Kafka And James Baldwin: Blackstar 10/1/16" by Richard Marshall, www.3ammagazine.com. January 16, 2016.

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• Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

  Aldous Huxley

  Funny, Sarcastic, Laughter

  "Peter's Quotations: Ideas for Our Time" by Laurence J. Peter, (p. 239), 1979.

  22 Copy quote

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• People who didn't need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn't need people.

  Terry Pratchett

  Witty, People, Needs

  "Maskerade". Book by Terry Pratchett, 1994.

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• How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. And how ironic that the difficult times we fear might ruin us are the very ones that can break us open and help us blossom into who we were meant to be.

  Elizabeth Lesser

  Might, Ruins, Were Meant To Be

  60 Copy quote

• If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Wisdom, Witty

  Oscar Wilde “The Picture of Dorian Gray - and more”, Eighty Pence Books

  360 Copy quote

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• Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding.

  Agnes Repplier

  Funny, Patience, Humor

  11 Copy quote

• For an adult, eating alone at McDonald's is admitting a kind of defeat.

  Jonathan Carroll

  Ice Cream, Mcdonalds, Adults

  85 Copy quote

• If one cannot learn from the mistakes of others, one might as well become a Democrat.

  Esther M. Friesner

  Mistake, Might, Democrat

  P. N. Elrod, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Charlaine Harris, L. A. Banks, Jim Butcher (2010). “My Big Fat Supernatural Wedding”, p.141, Macmillan

  45 Copy quote

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• I'd rather be partly great than entirely useless.

  Neal Shusterman

  Inspiring, Failure, Ambition

  Neal Shusterman (2014). “UnSouled”, p.91, Simon and Schuster

  56 Copy quote

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• It's so ironic that life is all about love, yet we live most of it either searching, never finding, or messing it up.

  Behdad Sami

  Life Is, Findings

  8 Copy quote

• He's turned his life around. He used to be depressed and miserable. Now he's miserable and depressed.

  Harry Kalas

  Funny, Life, Change

  57 Copy quote

• The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.

  George Will

  Inspirational, Funny, Nice

  George F. Will (1995). “The Leveling Wind: Politics, the Culture, and Other News, 1990-1994”, Penguin Group USA

  32 Copy quote

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