Ironic Quotes - Page 2

• Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc., and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons.

  Douglas Adams

  War, Believe, Humility

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• Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

  Rene Descartes

  Humorous, Men, Common Sense

  Attributed to Rene Descartes in Ian Glynn "An Anatomy of Thought: The Origin and Machinery of the Mind" (p. 7), 2003.

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• It is an ironic habit of human beings to run faster when we have lost our way.

  Rollo May

  Inspirational, Running, Wisdom

  Rollo May (1969). “Love and will”

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• Even things that are true can be proved.

  Oscar Wilde

  Irony

  Oscar Wilde (2007). “The Collected Works of Oscar Wilde”, p.3, Wordsworth Editions

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• Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory.

  Franklin P. Adams

  Birthday, Memories, Nostalgia

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• The prince of darkness is a gentleman!

  William Shakespeare

  Darkness, Gentleman

  'King Lear' (1605-6) act 3, sc. 4, l. [148]

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• My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.

  Rita Rudner

  Sarcastic, Fake People, Husband

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• If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others.

  Philip K. Dick

  Inspirational, Life, Optimistic

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• An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise.

  Victor Hugo

  Art, Philosophy, Crazy

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• If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses.

  Henry Ford

  Inspirational, Funny, Motivational

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• If you have a good idea, open your mouth and say something else.

  Keith Johnstone

  Funny, Ideas, Suggestions

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• Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Wedding, Truth

  "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?". Book by George Carlin, 2004.

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• With fame I become more and more stupid, which of course is a very common phenomenon.

  Albert Einstein

  Stupid, Memorable, Irony

  Albert Einstein (2013). “Albert Einstein, The Human Side: Glimpses from His Archives”, p.8, Princeton University Press

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• Irony is the gaiety of reflection and the joy of wisdom.

  Anatole France

  Humor, Reflection, Joy

  "The Literary Life". Book by Anatole France, 1888-1892.

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• Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

  Richard Lamm

  Funny, Christmas, Xmas

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• Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be impolite without having their skulls split, as a general thing.

  Robert E. Howard

  Live Life, Men, Civilization

  Robert E. Howard (2007). “The Best of Robert E. Howard Volume 2: Grim Lands”, p.31, Del Rey

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• I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.

  Mark Twain

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

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• The struggle for a free intelligence has always been a struggle between the ironic and the literal mind.

  Christopher Hitchens

  Struggle, Mind, Literal

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• Belief gets in the way of learning.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Clever, Believe, Creativity

  Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Time Enough for Love”, p.33, Penguin

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• McDonald's being the official restaurant of the Olympics is like smoking being the official medicine of cancer.

  Robert Downey, Jr.

  Sports, Sarcastic, Cancer

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• Since my earliest childhood a barb of sorrow has lodged in my heart. As long as it stays I am ironic - if it is pulled out I shall die.

  Soren Kierkegaard

  Heart, Long, Childhood

  Soren Kierkegaard's journal entry, 1847.

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• Irony - The modern mode: either the devil’s mark or the snorkel of sanity.

  Julian Barnes

  Devil, Irony, Sanity

  Julian Barnes (1984). “Flaubert's parrot”, Vintage

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• What cannot be said above all must not be silenced but written.

  Jacques Derrida

  Irony, Said, Written

  Jacques Derrida (1995). “Points . .: Interviews, 1974-1994”, p.2, Stanford University Press

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• What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact.

  Donald E. Williams, Jr.

  Absence, Decorum, Tact

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• Don’t underestimate the value of irony—it is extremely valuable.

  Henry James

  Irony, Underestimate, Valuable

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