Demetri Martin Quotes About Comedy

Quotes about: Comedy

• I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker, I just really like certain songs.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Song, Humor

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

• It's very easy to turn a toy into an adult toy: Location, location, location.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Adults

  "Demetri Martin. Person". Documentary, Comedy, Music, www.imdb.com. 2007.

• I was making pancakes the other day and a fly flew into the kitchen. And that's when I realized that a spatula is a lot like a fly-swatter. And a crushed fly is a lot like a blueberry. And a roommate is a lot like a fly eater.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Im Sorry, Humor

  TV Series "Comedy Central Presents" ("Demetri Martin", 2004), www.imdb.com. (1998– ).

• I went into a clothing store, and the lady asked me what size I was. I said, 'Actual'. I'm not to scale.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Size

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Garbage Disposal

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• I was watching MTV and there were girls dancing in suspended cages. That would be an ambivalent situation: "I'm trapped! ...but enjoying the music".

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Girl, Humor

• I was in my friends garage, and he had; a kite, a yo-yo, and a boomerang. I was like "Dude, you have abandonment issues"

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Issues

• Whenever I investigate a smell, I find that the answer is always bad. It's never: 'What is that? *sniff* muffins!'

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Smell, Answers

• This is a pie chart about procrastination.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Procrastination, Humor

  "Demetri Martin. Person". Documentary, Comedy, Music, www.imdb.com. 2007.

• To me, comedy is a game.

  Demetri Martin

  Games, Comedy

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That guy won a gold medal in the Olympics" "Oh yeah, that's cool, i wanna watch the fat guy" "Come on dude, you can take that hill"

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Sports, Humor

• I was seeing this girl and she wanted to get more serious. But I wasn't ready to, I had just gotten out of a difficult relationship before that. So I said to her, 'Listen, you have to understand something. Relationships are like eyebrows. It's better when there's a space between them.' And that's coming from a Greek guy.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Girl, Humor

• I think it would be frustrating to be a match maker. "What do you do?" "I'm a match maker" "Aw, that's really romantic" "No, umm... I actually... never mind"

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Thinking

• I like birthdays because we celebrate life with cakes. It's so cool. Sometimes when I see a baby, I'm like that much more cake in the world. But then when someone dies, I'm like the cake streak is over.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Baby, Humor

• When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Comedy, Taxpayers

• My friend has hand soap that smells like coconut. It's nice. Unless your hands are dirty from coconuts.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Nice, Dirty

• Sometimes I feel like I'm making a connection with a stranger, but then it turns out I'm not. Like, I was in a mall, and I saw this lady hitting her kid. So I went up to her, and I was like, "Yeah, get him!" She got all mad at me. I was like, "I'm on your side here."

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Kids, Your Side

• Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, "I'm not racist, but..." I say, "I'm not racist, but you look great today." They say, "That wasn't racist at all." I said, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Mexican, Typical

• Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Humor, Example

  "Comedy Central Presents", www.imdb.com. March 19, 2004.

• For me and most of my friends who are comedians, if you've been doing comedy for a while, your tolerance for things actually moves. I find it very hard to be shocked, and when other people aggressively take offense to something, I'm sometimes confused.

  Demetri Martin

  Confused, Moving, People

  Source: uproxx.com

• It seems that two of the most basic forms of comedy are jokes and stories. And, of course, they are not mutually exclusive.

  Demetri Martin

  Two, Stories, Comedy

  "Demetri Martin Talks Comedy". Interview with Harmon Leon, www.huffingtonpost.com. December 18, 2012.

• The reason you often get in comedy is because you're not getting laid.

  Demetri Martin

  Comedy, Reason, Getting Laid

• I have a jar at home, and I put pennies in it whenever I curse. The other day I spilled the jar. I owe it about $25.

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Home, Humor

• I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.

  Demetri Martin

  Thinking, Tough Times, Care

• When I dropped out [from a law school], everybody was disappointed... But I found that disappointing people is a good thing, because disapproval is freedom. Before that, I never realized how much I sought other people's approval. Once I figured that out, I was free to move on and seek the approval of other people, in comedy clubs and showbiz meetings.

  Demetri Martin

  Moving, School, Law

  Source: www.avclub.com

Page 1 of 2

← Prev

1

2

Next →

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin

• facebook
• twitter
• googleplus
• email
• linkedin