Demetri Martin Quotes About Today

Quotes about: Today

• Sometimes if I really want to get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with something like, "I'm not racist, but..." I say, "I'm not racist, but you look great today." They say, "That wasn't racist at all." I said, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."

  Demetri Martin

  Funny, Mexican, Typical

• I think that when you get dressed in the morning, sometimes you're really making a decision about your behavior for the day. Like if you put on flipflops, you're saying: 'Hope I don't get chased today.' 'Be nice to people in sneakers.'

  Demetri Martin

  Good Morning, Hope, Im Sorry

  "Comedy Central Presents", www.imdb.com. March 19, 2004.

• Overheard today in restaurant: Can you stop listening to our conversation?

  Demetri Martin

  Listening, Today, Restaurants

  Twitter post from Oct 24, 2011

• Don't forget to turn your clocks back today if you don't want your clocks to be set to the right time.

  Demetri Martin

  Want, Today, Forget

• I'm very hip-oriented. I focus on hips in my comedy - probably more than any other hipster comic who is out there hipping today. My hips, other hips. I work with my hips a great deal. That is what I do. But not in a gay way.

  Demetri Martin

  Hipster, Gay, Focus

  Source: www.avclub.com

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