Woody Allen Quotes - Page 14

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• I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man's plight in this mysterious universe.

  Woody Allen

  Men, Thinking, Mysterious Universe

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens.

  Woody Allen

  Want, Fear Of Death, Happens

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• If you can delude yourself by believing that there is some kind of Santa Claus out there who is going to bail you out in the end, then it will help you get through. Even if you are proven wrong in the end, you would have had a better life than a non-believer.

  Woody Allen

  Believe, Bail, Santa

  "Woody Allen's World: Whatever Works". Interview with Robert E. Lauder, www.commonwealmagazine.org. April 15, 2010.

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• Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special.

  Woody Allen

  Pain, Short Life, Life Is Short

  Vicky Cristina Barcelona, www.imdb.com. 2008.

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• Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.

  Woody Allen

  Marriage, Two, Inertia

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• I work for a company that makes deceptively shallow serving dishes for Chinese restaurants.

  Woody Allen

  Work, Chinese, Shallow

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• Some men are heterosexual and some men are bisexual and some men don't think about sex at all ... you know, they become lawyers.

  Woody Allen

  Sex, Men, Thinking

  Love and Death (motion picture) (1975)

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• I could turn on my radio in the morning when I was getting dressed for school and hear Frank Sinatra and Duke Ellington and Benny Goodman and think this is the music. Now that music is art. Ellington is art. At that time it was just what you heard on the radio. Cole Porter was just a guy who wrote pretty songs and Billie Holliday would sing them.

  Woody Allen

  Song, Art, Morning

  CrankyCritic Interview, www.woodyallen.art.pl.

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• I cannot say for certain that God does not exist; I think the worst thing that can be said about him is that he's a bit of an underachiever.

  Woody Allen

  Thinking, Superstitions, Doe

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• If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever.

  Woody Allen

  Witty, Atheist, Philosophy

  Love and Death (1975 film)

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• I don't own a computer. I've never seen anything online at all - nothing. I don't own a word processor. I have none of that stuff. It's not an act of rebellion. I'm just not a gadget person.

  Woody Allen

  Gadgets, Stuff, Computer

  "Woody Allen On ‘Irrational Man’, His Movies & Hollywood’s Perilous Path – Cannes Q&A" by Mike Fleming Jr, deadline.com. May 14, 2015.

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• I'm going to my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.

  Woody Allen

  Years, Psychology, Lourdes

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• Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

  Woody Allen

  Money, Children, Order

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• I was in analysis. I was suicidal. As a matter of fact, I would have killed myself, but I was in analysis with a strict Freudian and if you kill yourself they make you pay for the sessions you miss.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Humor, Suicidal

  Annie Hall (motion picture) (1977). Cowritten with Marshall Brickman. This joke appeared in a monologue recorded live in August 1968 and released on The Third Woody Allen Album.

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• The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Laughter, Ideas

  Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

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• Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Sex, Humorous

  Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex (1972 film)

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• The last woman I was in was the Statue of Liberty.

  Woody Allen

  Witty, Humorous, Liberty

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• I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

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• You can be distracted by your love life, by the baseball game, movies, by the nonsense. "Can I get my kid into this private school? Can I get this girl to go out with me Saturday night? Am I going to get the promotion in my office?" All this stuff, but in the end the universe burns out. So I think it's completely meaningless.

  Woody Allen

  Girl, Baseball, School

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• There's something about my films; they're informed by my sensibility. I have the same preoccupations, the same interests... there's just something in the nuance, and so you always know it's a film of mine whether I sign my name to it or not.

  Woody Allen

  Names, Nuance, Film

  "Woody Allen gives you two for one in Melinda and Melinda". Interview with Julian Roman, movieweb.com. March 17, 2005.

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• I got a divorce because my ex-wife left me for another woman.

  Woody Allen

  Divorce, Wife, Left

  Manhattan, www.imdb.com. 1979.

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• Maybe the poets are right. Maybe love is the only answer.

  Woody Allen

  Love Is, Answers, Poet

  "Fictional character: Mickey". Hannah and Her Sisters, 1986.

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• Relationships are really what interest me the most. And I think, in the end, they interest most people the most. Even when you read Tolstoy or something, basically they're about man and woman relationships.

  Woody Allen

  Men, Thinking, People

  "Woody Allen gives you two for one in Melinda and Melinda". Interview with Julian Roman, movieweb.com. March 17, 2005.

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• I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Beautiful, Sex

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• The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death.

  Woody Allen

  Thinking, Things In Life, Evil

  "Love and Death". www.imdb.com. 1975.

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