Santa Quotes

• For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

  Doug Larson

  Believe, Kids, Wrestling

  6 Copy quote

• Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.

  Henny Youngman

  Funny, Easter, Humor

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• You better watch out You better not cry Better not pout I'm telling you why Santa Claus is coming to town

  Maud Lindsay

  Watches, Towns, Cry

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• Believe in love. Believe in magic. Hell, believe in Santa Clause. Believe in others. Believe in yourself. Believe in your dreams. If you don't, who will?

  Jon Bon Jovi

  Inspiring, Christmas, Dream

  94 Copy quote

• The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

  George Carlin

  Funny, Christmas, Girl

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• There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he does not believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

  Bob Phillips

  Funny, Christmas, Dad

  45 Copy quote

• Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

  Victor Borge

  Funny, Christmas, Witty

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• Here's what we know about Santa. He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good. I think he's with the NSA.

  David Letterman

  Sleep, Thinking, Nsa

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• I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.

  Charles Dickens

  Love, Christmas, Education

  A Christmas Carol stave 4 (1843)

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• Christmas is not a time nor a season, but a state of mind. To cherish peace and goodwill, to be plenteous in mercy, is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

  Calvin Coolidge

  Christmas, Xmas, Real

  "Chicken soup for the soul Christmas treasury for kids" by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Patty Hansen, Irene Dunlap, HCI, (p. 1), 2002.

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• Yes Virginia, There is a Santa Claus.

  Francis Pharcellus Church

  Christmas, Virginia, Childlike Faith

  "Is There a Santa Claus" (editorial), Sun (N.Y.), 21 Sept. 1897

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• Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money?

  Tom Armstrong

  Funny, Christmas, Cities

  46 Copy quote

• All the world is happy when Santa Claus comes.

  Maud Lindsay

  World, Santa Claus

  Maud Lindsay (2010). “A Story Garden for Little Children”, p.48, Heart of Dixie Publishing

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• To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To you, respect.

  Oren Arnold

  Christmas, Xmas, Children

  43 Copy quote

• Christmas waves a magic wand over this world, and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.

  Norman Vincent Peale

  Love, Positive, Christmas

  31 Copy quote

• Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.

  H. L. Mencken

  Dream, Heaven, Democracy

  H.L. Mencken (2013). “Minority Report”, p.412, Knopf

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• No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

  Francis Pharcellus Church

  Heart, Virginia, Years

  "Is There a Santa Claus" (editorial), Sun (N.Y.), 21 Sept. 1897.

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• I think Santa Claus is, by and large, quite beneficial, for when the child is finally allowed -- or forced -- to recognize the nonexistence of Santa Claus, then the child is able to go through the vital intellectual process of reconstructing reality in light of new evidence, complete with back-forming new stories to account for past events. This prepares the child for many other disillusionments and gives her vital and well-supported experience in maintaining her grip on reality independent of the stories told to her at any given time.

  Orson Scott Card

  Children, Independent, Past

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• God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat.

  H. L. Mencken

  Funny, Humorous, Party

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• When I found out that Santa Claus wasn't real, I wasn't upset; rather, I was relieved that there was a much simpler phenomenon to explain how so many children all over the world got presents on the same night! The story had been getting pretty complicated -- it was getting out of hand.

  Richard P. Feynman

  Children, Real, Night

  Richard P. Feynman (2011). “"What Do You Care What Other People Think?": Further Adventures of a Curious Character”, p.26, W. W. Norton & Company

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• Santa Claus is a god. He's no less a god than Ahura Mazda, or Odin, or Zeus. Think of the white beard, the chariot pulled through the air by a breed of animal which doesn't ordinarily fly, the prayers (requests for gifts) which are annually mailed to him and which so baffle the Post Office, the specially-garbed priests in all the department stories. And don't gods reflect their creators' society? The Greeks had a huntress goddess, and gods of agriculture and war and love. What else would we have but a god of giving, of merchandising, and of consumption?

  Donald E. Westlake

  Prayer, War, Animal

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• Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

  W. C. Fields

  Christmas, Funny Life, Drinking

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• The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy family all wrapped up in each other.

  Bill Vaughan

  Inspirational, Family, Happy

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• Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

  Matt Groening

  Christmas, Birth, Funny Simpsons

  "The Simpsons: Miracle on Evergreen Terrace". TV Series, www.imdb.com. 1997.

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• Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

  Johnny Carson

  Funny, Christmas, Sarcastic

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