Woody Allen Quotes About Life

Quotes about: Life

• I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

  Woody Allen

  Life, Sex, Answers

• I am not afraid of death. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

  Woody Allen

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Death: A Comedy in One Act". Book by Woody Allen, 1975.

• I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Witty

• I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Thankful

  "Positive Words, Powerful Results". Book by Hal Urban (p. 105), 2004.

• Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Art

  2000 In The Guardian, 31Dec.

• To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

  Woody Allen

  Love, Funny, Life

  Love and Death, www.imdb.com. 1975.

• Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.

  Woody Allen

  Love, Funny, Life

• If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

  Woody Allen

  Life, Laughter, Hipster

• My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Witty

  Epigraph to Eric Lax Woody Allen and his Comedy (1975)

• It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock.

  Woody Allen

  Life, Graduation, Home

  Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

• I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Humor

• Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Humor

  "Fictional character: Alvy Singer". "Annie Hall", www.imdb.com. 1977.

• Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Errors

• Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Death

  Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

• Does art imitate life, or does life imitate TV?

  Woody Allen

  Life, Art, Doe

• Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either.

  Woody Allen

  Life, Fun, Science

  Woody Allen (2007). “The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose”, Random House Incorporated

• Marriage is like mushrooms: we notice too late if they are good or bad.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Life, Mushrooms

• Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats.

  Woody Allen

  Inspirational, Funny, Life

  "Standup Comic". A CD compilation of Allen comedy routines from 1964-1968, 1999.

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