Joan Rivers Quotes About Wife

Quotes about: Wife

• I'm going out with these old guys. One guy gave me a hickey and left his teeth in my neck. Another man, we were having a perfectly lovely dinner; he looked up and me and went: You're not my wife! Another guy died during dinner. I had to go in his pocket to get the American Express card. Then you wonder: What would he tip? Another guy said: I want you to meet my family, and took me to the cemetery.

  Joan Rivers

  Men, Wife, Guy

• Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?

  Joan Rivers

  Husband, Memorable, Cake

  "Finding The Summer Movies That Are (Well) Off The Beaten Path". "All Things Considered", www.npr.org. May 31, 2010.

• Learn what not to expect. Irish catholic they get sh**** little rings. Irish women get crappy rings. Baptist get the worst because they get the rings under water. When it comes up, it's garbage. Jewish, big rings. Episcopalian big rings. Italians-the best, because they get them off of dead people, and second wives get the biggest rings of all.

  Joan Rivers

  Fashion, People, Water

• Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.

  Joan Rivers

  Law, Wife, Lawyer

• When you're first-generation money, you want to say, "I got a Mercedes and a Rolls and a Lamborghini. Take a look." When you're second-generation money, you're very quiet behind your country club doors. I think that's why people are much more aware. It's the first-generation wives that have the huge rings and the second-generation says, "Everyone be quiet as we get on our yacht or our private plane."

  Joan Rivers

  Country, Thinking, People

  Source: www.washingtontimes.com

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