Joan Rivers Quotes About Children

Quotes about: Children

• My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.

  Joan Rivers

  Mother, Children, Humorous

  "Goodbye to the mother of all comedians: Joan Rivers' 9 best quotes on motherhood" by Sarah Maizes, www.today.com. September 05, 2014.

• I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

  Joan Rivers

  Country, Children, Thinking

• A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.

  Joan Rivers

  Children, Memorable, Hot

• Every comedian is furious. Age makes me angry. I'm unhappy at not being able to open packages anymore. I'm angry that libraries have gone. I hate children on planes. I'm very shallow, so they tend to be little things. To be honest, I think I was probably angry the day I was born, you know, about diapers or something.

  Joan Rivers

  Children, Hate, Thinking

• I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.

  Joan Rivers

  Girl, Children, Memorable

• Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Sarcastic, Children

  Twitter post from Apr 09, 2014

• What could be nicer than to have three horrible children behind you in an airplane, and the next set, you go onstage and you talk about how much you despise the children and what you would like to do to them on an airplane? That's the only time I would gladly take a terrorist on. It'd be worth it to get rid of these children.

  Joan Rivers

  Children, Airplane, Three

  Source: www.avclub.com

• Mick Jagger could French-kiss a moose. He has child-bearing lips.

  Joan Rivers

  Children, Kissing, Lips

  "Joan Rivers' Most Memorable Insults" by Hilary Lewis and Colin Stutz, www.hollywoodreporter.com. September 04, 2014.

• I was not an attractive child.

  Joan Rivers

  Children, Attractive

• Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm full of children. I think she got them at Costco.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Children, Thinking

  Joan Rivers (2012). “I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me”, p.20, Penguin

• I've always hate child stars, starting from way back when, when I was a child. The first child star I saw was Shirley Temple. She was six years old, two foot six and the biggest star in Hollywood. She wore ribbons in her hair, and frilly little pinafores and shiny patent-leather tap shoes - just like the boys in Glee do.

  Joan Rivers

  Stars, Children, Hate

  Joan Rivers (2012). “I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me”, p.23, Penguin

• I love gay and lesbian parents. But I think we need a law that says lesbians and gay men have to raise their children together. This way, the kids would not only know how to build bookshelves, but they'd also instinctively know how to decorate them.

  Joan Rivers

  Children, Kids, Gay

  Joan Rivers (2012). “I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me”, p.21, Penguin

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