Joan Rivers Quotes About Babies

Quotes about: Babies

• I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Witty, Baby

  "The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said"by R. Byrne, (p. 94), 2003.

• And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Parenting, Motherhood

  Joan Rivers (2012). “I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me Deluxe”, p.19, Penguin

• My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

  Joan Rivers

  Dog, Baby, Memorable

  "Funny Ladies". Book by B. Adler, 2001.

• When my husband Edgar and I were courting, he said he couldn't wait to have a baby. It was only after we were married that he changed his mind and decided that I should have the baby.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Husband, Should Have

  Joan Rivers (1978). “Having a Baby Can Be a Scream”, Avon Books

• my cousin Shirley, who never complains, screamed and screamed when she was having her baby. True, this was just during conception.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Cousin, Complaining

  Joan Rivers (1978). “Having a Baby Can Be a Scream”, Avon Books

• Having a baby can be a scream.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Scream, Having A Baby

  Joan Rivers, Jerrilyn Farmer (2009). “Murder at the Academy Awards (R): A Red Carpet Murder Mystery”, p.4, Simon and Schuster

• All babies look like Renée Zellweger pushed against a glass window.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Glasses, Looks

  Joan Rivers: the best of her career in clips and quotes" by Lilah Raptopoulos, www.theguardian.com. September 04, 2014.

• Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had the baby. He was there for the birth. It would've been nice if he was there for the conception.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Nice, Birth

• Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Lying, Looks

• Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm full of children. I think she got them at Costco.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Children, Thinking

  Joan Rivers (2012). “I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me”, p.20, Penguin

• That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Needs, Six Months

• Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Children Love, Childbirth

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