I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.
Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.
No more Botox for me. Betty White's bowels move more than my face.
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.
A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.
[On plastic surgery:] My motto is: 'Anything that can be lifted should be lifted. Anything that falls should be caught. And try to catch any falling stuff before it hits the ground.
[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.
Joan Collins told a reporter that she hasn't had plastic surgery; come on... she's had more tucks than a motel bedsheet!
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”
I’m never without a bandage.
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