Joan Rivers Quotes About Motherhood

Quotes about: Motherhood

• I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Witty, Baby

  "The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said"by R. Byrne, (p. 94), 2003.

• My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know.

  Joan Rivers

  Mother, Children, Humorous

  "Goodbye to the mother of all comedians: Joan Rivers' 9 best quotes on motherhood" by Sarah Maizes, www.today.com. September 05, 2014.

• Both of my parents got to see me host Carson, thank God. That's all anyone wants: to have their parents see they're going to be all right in life.

  Joan Rivers

  Parenting, Motherhood, Thank God

• I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

  Joan Rivers

  Funny, Mother, Witty

• My parents hated me. All I ever heard was, "Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia? Why can't you be like your cousin Shelia?" Shelia had died at birth.

  Joan Rivers

  Cousin, Parenting, Motherhood

• And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

  Joan Rivers

  Baby, Parenting, Motherhood

  Joan Rivers (2012). “I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me Deluxe”, p.19, Penguin

• Your proudest moment is to watch your egg not just function, but to achieve on her own.

  Joan Rivers

  Parenting, Motherhood, Eggs

• My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller.

  Joan Rivers

  Memories, Parenting, Motherhood

  Joan Rivers (2012). “I Hate Everyone...Starting with Me”, p.13, Penguin

• My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

  Joan Rivers

  Dog, Baby, Memorable

  "Funny Ladies". Book by B. Adler, 2001.

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