Great art is the contempt of a great man for small art.
I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.
If I had known what it would be like to have it all - I might have been willing to settle for less.
The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.
I've seen George Foreman shadow boxing and the shadow won.
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.
Show me a man who lives alone and has a perpetually clean kitchen, and 8 times out of 9 I'll show you a man with detestable spiritual qualities.
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
If exposure of body is modernism, then animals are more modern than humans.
God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Sooner or later we're all someone's dog.
A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap.
I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
In the fight between you and the world, back the world.
Never trust anything you read in a travel article.
I'm too drunk to taste this chicken
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I hope God speaks English. If I get up to heaven and have to point at a menu, I'm gonna be pissed.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Moderation is a virtue only in those who are thought to have an alternative.
A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.
Both humans and dogs love to play well into adulthood, and individuals from both species occasionally display evidence of having a conscience.
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