Finland has produced so many brilliant distance runners because back home it costs $2.50 a gallon for gas.
Marriage is not about age; it's about finding the right person.
I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.
There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us. I have observed, for example, that we all get the same amount of ice. The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter.
I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
It is better to be beautiful than to be good. But... it is better to be good than to be ugly.
Translators are like ninjas. If you notice them, they’re no good.
I want all the kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all the kids to copulate me.
A lawyer is just like an attack dog, only without a conscience.
All I want for my birthday is another birthday.
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.
Every time I go near the stove, the dog howls.
I'm a vegetarian, well I'm not hardcore because I eat meat, but only because I like the taste, and I hate vegetables on a personal level so I'm not too good!
Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?
There is hardship in everything except eating pancakes.
People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky.
You're only as good as your last haircut.
The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
I can speak Esperanto like a native.
In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.
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