Chris Rock Quotes

Quotes about:

• 

  Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

  Chris Rock

  Smart, Knowing, People

  Source: www.nytimes.com

  43 Copy quote

• You can only offend me if you mean something to me.

  Chris Rock

  Bullying, Mean, Ifs

  33 Copy quote

• Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

  Chris Rock

  Money, Wealth, Rich Money

  58 Copy quote

• Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Smart, Humor

  27 Copy quote

• You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.

  Chris Rock

  Life Is Short, Humor, Cherish Every Moment

  "I Think I Love My Wife". www.imdb.com. 2007.

  124 Copy quote

• Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

  Chris Rock

  People, Free Food, Gluten

  44 Copy quote

• You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something.

  Chris Rock

  Complaining, Impossible, Mets

  "Chris Rock: Never Scared". TV Special, April17, 2004.

  22 Copy quote

• When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them. You're meeting their representative.

  Chris Rock

  Firsts, First Time, Meetings

  "'It's the White BET Awards!' Chris Rock's funniest jokes ahead of his Oscars hosting stint". www.mirror.co.uk. February 28, 2016.

  11 Copy quote

• America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.

  Chris Rock

  Hunting, America, People

  "Chris Rock: Never Scared". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 2004.

  8 Copy quote

• Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies... a man's lie is, "I'm at Tony house, I was at Kenny house!" A woman lie is like, "It's your baby!"

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Baby, Lying

  "Chris Rock: Bigger & Blacker". TV Special, July 10, 1999.

  31 Copy quote
• 

  I used to work at McDonald's making minimum wage. You know what that means when someone pays you minimum wage? You know what your boos was trying to say? "Hey if I could pay you less, I would, but it's against the law."

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Mean, Mcdonalds

  "Saturday Night Live: The Best of Chris Rock". TV Special, 1999.

  30 Copy quote

• No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.

  Chris Rock

  Crazy, Men, Two

  4 Copy quote

• Men do not settle down. Men surrender.

  Chris Rock

  Love, Men, Surrender

  10 Copy quote

• You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

  Chris Rock

  Men, Rapper, Nba

  42 Copy quote

• You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense

  Chris Rock

  Fighting, Winning, Men

  19 Copy quote

• I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that.

  Chris Rock

  People, Broken, Car

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  19 Copy quote

• There's math, and everything else is debatable!

  Chris Rock

  Math

  8 Copy quote

• Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

  Chris Rock

  Feels

  6 Copy quote

• Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, People

  23 Copy quote

• If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite.

  Chris Rock

  School, Opposites, Abortion

  37 Copy quote

• The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.

  Chris Rock

  Government, Drug, Use

  13 Copy quote

• If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Daughter, Humor

  37 Copy quote

• Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

  Chris Rock

  Issues, Mind, Fool

  11 Copy quote

• You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

  Chris Rock

  Inspirational, Government, Taxation

  27 Copy quote

• A man is only as faithful as his options.

  Chris Rock

  Men, Loyal And Faithful, Religion

  21 Copy quote

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