David Spade Quotes

Quotes about:

• There's always something funny about men chasing women.

  David Spade

  Men, Chasing

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  51 Copy quote

• You can either look at things in a brutal, truthful way that's depressing, or you can screw around and have fun.

  David Spade

  Depressing, Fun, Looks

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  21 Copy quote

• Whenever you get on the plane, the flight attendant will always tell you the name of your pilot. Like anyone goes, Oh, he's good.

  David Spade

  Names, Pilots, Flight

  20 Copy quote

• I'm a gentleman and I was always taught it's rude, to talk about a woman's age or weight unless you are breaking up with her.

  David Spade

  Rude, Gentleman, Age

  15 Copy quote

• You know the drill. 18 is legal. 17 with consent. 16 with a note. 15 if her dad's in the room. Low five!

  David Spade

  Dad, Rooms, Notes

  "David Spade: Take the Hit". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1998.

  16 Copy quote

• Gossip is a plague that consumes weak, gullible people and blinds them from the truth of reality; it can devour entire city's. I prefer keeping my eyes wide open.

  David Spade

  Eye, Reality, Cities

  11 Copy quote

• I talk to my dad all the time, he's more like my buddy than my father, and he's not happy that I use him in my act. But I tell him, I have to get something out of this.

  David Spade

  Dad, Father, Use

  4 Copy quote

• I just don't like to go out and deal with the real world. It's scary.

  David Spade

  Real, Scary, World

  "Swinging For the Fences With David Spade in The Benchwarmers". Interview With Evan Jacobs, movieweb.com. April 3, 2006.

  13 Copy quote

• My fellow nerds and I will retire to the nerdery with our calculators.

  David Spade

  Nerd, Calculators, Retiring

  "Fictional character: Richard Hayden". "Tommy Boy", www.imdb.com. 1995.

  11 Copy quote

• In grade school I was smart, but I didn't have any friends. In high school, I quit being smart and started having friends.

  David Spade

  Funny, Smart, School

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  8 Copy quote

• Nobody wants to read about your life. Who cares?

  David Spade

  Who Cares, Care, Want

  4 Copy quote

• I want to get away from it all. Move to the sticks. Montana. Hundreds of miles from civilization. Get a cabin in the snow. Curl up with some cute girl. Say stuff to her like, Scream all you want, sugar. Ain't nobody gonna hear you!

  David Spade

  Cute, Girl, Moving

  4 Copy quote

• Staying in a hotel this time. They put me up in a little bit of a shithole. Yeah. Just this side of rinky dink. The first 7 floors are a homeless shelter, but I'm on 8.

  David Spade

  Sides, Shelter, Littles

  "David Spade: Take the Hit". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1998.

  13 Copy quote

• It's great to tell people you have your own show, but that's where the fun stops.

  David Spade

  Fun, People, Shows

  8 Copy quote

• Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

  David Spade

  Smart, Watches, Want

  "David Spade on 'Rules' guest stars and Hollywood gossip". Interview with Fred Topel, www.hollywoodnews.com. November 15, 2010.

  6 Copy quote

• If I try to cover too much ground, you start to get watered down and less interesting.

  David Spade

  Interesting, Trying, Down And

  5 Copy quote

• I can see getting married and having a family, because it is the next thing on the agenda. You can only do this for so long. I'm old, and my friends all have kids. And I'm single, still blow drying my hair!

  David Spade

  Kids, Blow, Hair

  4 Copy quote

• It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it.

  David Spade

  Trying, Want, Littles

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  10 Copy quote

• I think the chances are better of me putting Super Unleaded into a rented car.

  David Spade

  Thinking, Car, Chance

  6 Copy quote

• Don't make your kids look hot and dirty and sexy when they're 5-years old! It's really not the place or the time. You're about 11 years early.

  David Spade

  Sexy, Dirty, Kids

  5 Copy quote

• There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.

  David Spade

  Fun, Entertainment, Shows

  "David Spade to host new satire show", www.today.com. June 20, 2005.

  7 Copy quote

• The hard part about SNL is, there's no real communication when you get there. It's not like people are mean to you, they just act like you're not there.

  David Spade

  Real, Communication, Mean

  9 Copy quote

• It's brutal. I see friends when their shows don't work. Everything's riding on making money and all the pressure and how people scatter when fortunes turn downward.

  David Spade

  People, Riding, Pressure

  7 Copy quote

• The last girl I went out with blew me off. Now I call her with lame excuses to see her, "Hey, did I leave a penny over there?"

  David Spade

  Girl, Heartache, Hey

  5 Copy quote

• Stayed up and watched a little spanktrovision. It's the American way. There's really nothing wrong with spanktrovision. One of the best inventions of the 1900s, 20th century.

  David Spade

  Littles, Way, Invention

  "David Spade: Take the Hit". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1998.

  6 Copy quote

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