Chris Rock Quotes About Comedy

Quotes about: Comedy

• 

  There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Hilarious, Laughter

• Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, People

• I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Stupid, Humor

• Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, White

• Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Dance, Humor

• If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Daughter, Humor

• A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.

  Chris Rock

  Work Out, Trying, Clubs

  "Chris Rock On The Funny Business Of Finding Success". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. August 8, 2012.

• I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Rocks

• Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Drug

• Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Shopping

• A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Boys

• Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Gay

• Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Gun

  "Accidental Gun Control: Bullets Get Expensive". www.npr.org. May 21, 2008.

• School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, School, Humor

• You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.

  Chris Rock

  Fake, Directors, Faces

  Source: www.oprah.com

• Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.

  Chris Rock

  Groups, Comedy, Activity

• Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get my hair cut on Dekalb Avenue. I never been in a barbershop and heard a bunch of brothers talking about Jews. Black people don't hate Jews. Black people hate white people! We don't got time to dice white people up into little groups. I hate everybody! I don't care if you just got here. "Hey, I'm Romanian." "You Romanian cracker!"

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Brother, Hate

• That's all we had when I was a kid: Robitussin. No matter what you got, Robitussin better handle it. "Daddy, I got asthma." "Robitussin." "I got cancer." "Robitussin." "I broke my leg." Daddy poured Robitussin on it. "Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get in there. Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get on down to the bone. The 'tussin ought to straighten out the bone."

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Cancer, Kids

• Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Sports, Humor

• I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

  Chris Rock

  Real, Smoking, Cameras

  "Busy Chris Rock Is Just Itching for Dirty Work". Interview with Dave Itzkoff, www.nytimes.com. August 1, 2012.

• When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they're nice and all, but they're not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.

  Chris Rock

  Crazy, Nice, Cutting

  Source: www.nytimes.com

• I never watched the Oscars. Come on, it's a fashion show . . . What straight black man sits there and watches the Oscars? Show me one. And they don't recognize comedy, and you don't see a lot of black people nominated, so why should I watch it?

  Chris Rock

  Fashion, Men, People

• I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Want

• Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.

  Chris Rock

  Levels, Comedy, Mediums

  Source: www.nytimes.com

• I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways.

  Chris Rock

  Thinking, Political, Vision

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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