Chris Rock Quotes About Comedy

Quotes about: Comedy

• 

  There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Hilarious, Laughter

• Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, People

• I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Stupid, Humor

• Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, White

• Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher Reeve judging a dance contest!

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Dance, Humor

• If you can keep your son off the pipe and your daughter off the pole, you're ahead of the game.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Daughter, Humor

• A comedy club is a place where you work out material, you're trying material.

  Chris Rock

  Work Out, Trying, Clubs

  "Chris Rock On The Funny Business Of Finding Success". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. August 8, 2012.

• I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Rocks

• Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Drug

• Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Shopping

• A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Boys

• Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Gay

• Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because if a bullet cost five thousand dollar, we wouldn't have any innocent bystanders.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Humor, Gun

  "Accidental Gun Control: Bullets Get Expensive". www.npr.org. May 21, 2008.

• School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, School, Humor

• Comedy is a group activity, a verbal orgy.

  Chris Rock

  Groups, Comedy, Activity

• You can't fake comedy - it's not like a movie, where a director can just cast a pretty face.

  Chris Rock

  Fake, Directors, Faces

  Source: www.oprah.com

• Farrakhan got everybody together for the Million Man March and everything. But Farrakhan don't like the Jews. Which is bugged. I get my hair cut on Dekalb Avenue. I never been in a barbershop and heard a bunch of brothers talking about Jews. Black people don't hate Jews. Black people hate white people! We don't got time to dice white people up into little groups. I hate everybody! I don't care if you just got here. "Hey, I'm Romanian." "You Romanian cracker!"

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Brother, Hate

• That's all we had when I was a kid: Robitussin. No matter what you got, Robitussin better handle it. "Daddy, I got asthma." "Robitussin." "I got cancer." "Robitussin." "I broke my leg." Daddy poured Robitussin on it. "Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get in there. Yeah, boy, let that 'tussin get on down to the bone. The 'tussin ought to straighten out the bone."

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Cancer, Kids

• Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of the final four.

  Chris Rock

  Funny, Sports, Humor

• A comedian has to live in his head. All this comedy comes from a lonely place. When you're surrounded by an entourage, you're not living in your head.

  Chris Rock

  Lonely, Comedian, Comedy

  Source: www.rollingstone.com

• I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?

  Chris Rock

  Bullying, Thinking, People

• By the time I was 7 or 8, I wanted to be a comedy writer.

  Chris Rock

  Comedy, Wanted

• When you make comedy, you make it for the people and you try to have as many screenings and as many tests and you do focus groups and you read the cards and you try to give the people what they want in this comedy.

  Chris Rock

  People, Giving, Focus

  Source: www.pbs.org

• I had always been - everybody kind of likes comedy. I was very interested in comedy, beyond just liking it. I had friends that took apart radios; I wanted to take apart jokes.

  Chris Rock

  Radio, Likes, Comedy

  Source: www.pbs.org

• I'll go back to comedy clubs when they get a real no-camera policy, the same way they did with smoking.

  Chris Rock

  Real, Smoking, Cameras

  "Busy Chris Rock Is Just Itching for Dirty Work". Interview with Dave Itzkoff, www.nytimes.com. August 1, 2012.

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