Ronald Reagan Funny Quotes

• Thomas Jefferson once said. He said , "We should never judge a President by his age, only by his works." And ever since he told me that, I've stopped worrying. There are those who say I've stopped working.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Birthday, Patriotic

  "Ronald Reagan".

• I've noticed that everyone who is for abortion has already been born.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Pro Life, Abortion

• I want you to know that also I will not make age an issue of this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Issues, Political

  Ronald Reagan (2004). “The uncommon wisdom of Ronald Reagan: a portrait in his own words”

• Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Baby, Military

  Ronald Reagan, Bill Adler (1981). “The Reagan wit”, Jameson Books

• I have wondered at times what the Ten Commandments would have looked like if Moses had run them through the US Congress.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Sarcastic, Running

• Republicans believe every day is the Fourth of July, but the democrats believe every day is April 15.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Business, Party

• It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Hilarious, Military

• The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Business, Military

  "Biography / Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

• If you're explaining, you're losing.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Political, Losing

• It's true hard work never killed anybody, but I figure, why take the chance?

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Hilarious, Work

  Ronald Reagan (2004). “Speaking My Mind: Selected Speeches”, p.420, Simon and Schuster

• Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Veterans Day, Military

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

• Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Laughter, Patriotic

• A hippie is someone who looks like Tarzan, walks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Anniversary, Hippie

  "Character: Ronald Reagan". "The Tripper", www.imdb.com. 2006.

• My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Humor, Russia

  Remarks during radio microphone test, 11 Aug. 1984

• One picture is worth 1,000 denials.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

• I now have absolute proof that smoking even one marijuana cigarette is equal in brain damage to being on Bikini Island during an H-bomb blast

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Weed, Marijuana

• History shows that when the taxes of a nation approach about 20 percent of the people's income, there begins to be a lack of respect for government.... When it reaches 25 percent, there comes an increase in lawlessness.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Government, People

  Ronald Reagan, Mark J. Green, Gail MacColl (1983). “There he goes again: Ronald Reagan's reign of error”, Pantheon

• One way to make sure crime doesn't pay would be to let the government run it.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Running, Government

  Ronald Reagan, Bill Adler (1981). “The Reagan wit”, Jameson Books

• I am not worried about the deficit. It is big enough to take care of itself.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Money, Stupid

  Ronald Reagan's joke at the Gridiron Club annual dinner, March 24, 1984.

• A recession is when your neighbor loses his job. A depression is when you lose yours.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Depression, Witty

  "Ronald Reagan: A Man True to His Word".

• A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at?

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Tree, Needs

  Quoted in Sacramento Bee, 12 Mar. 1966. Speech to Western Wood Products Association, 12 Sept. 1965.

• I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Nature, Order

• I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Coffee, Espresso

• Fascism was really the basis for the New Deal.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Politics, Fascism

  Ronald Reagan, Mark J. Green, Gail MacColl (1983). “There he goes again: Ronald Reagan's reign of error”, Pantheon

• I favor the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and it must be enforced at gunpoint if necessary.

  Ronald Reagan

  Funny, Humorous, Rights

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