Jim Gaffigan Quotes - Page 10

Quotes about:

• Well my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Chocolate, Shapes, Prisms

  Twitter post from Sep 26, 2013

  5 Copy quote

• For me, stand-up comedy is a conversation between me and the audience. I have to keep them listening. When I'm making jokes about cake for twenty minutes, I have to make sure my audience is interested and following where I'm going.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Cake

  4 Copy quote

• You ever find yourself being lazy for no reason at all? Like, you pick up your mail, you go in your house, you realize you have a letter for a neighbor. You ever just look at the letter and go "Hm. Looks like they're never getting this. It'll take too much energy to go back outside. I'm gonna get that to them later on. Right now I gotta watch some 'Love Connection.' They got some new host on there."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, House

  4 Copy quote

• I never have free time, I don't know about you. You ever go to the cash machine, there's two people in line in front of you and you get kinda flustered, you're like "Forget it! I'm not standing here for 40 seconds. I got things to do, okay?"

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Two

  4 Copy quote

• Be more assertive with what you want to do.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Want, What You Want, Assertive

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

• Whatever a writer gets paid for his book, it's never enough. I think that's true. It's hard work. But in the end, you wrote a book. It's something real and tangible that sits on a shelf forever.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Real, Book, Hard Work

  "Why Jim Gaffigan Can't Stop Eating". Interview with Comedy Central and J. Rentilly, www.menshealth.com. April 25, 2014.

  4 Copy quote

• I wish, in some ways, I was the type of comedian who could do something blistering and topical, but I'm the guy who gets stuck in the revolving door and thinks I should write about that.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Writing, Thinking, Doors

  "Why Jim Gaffigan Can't Stop Eating". Interview with J. Rentilly, www.menshealth.com. April 25, 2014.

  4 Copy quote

• I've been doing stand-up for so long, I think 19 years, that I love topics I can also expand on. Once I identify a topic like, say, seafood, which is a big one right now, it's like there are different kinds of tangents I can go on to build a larger chunk.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thinking, Years, Long

  "Jim Gaffigan talks Domino's, Law & Order, and having the gall to accept serious acting roles". Interview with Andy Seifert, www.avclub.com. January 28, 2010.

  4 Copy quote

• The entertainment business is such a strange, crazy perception business that you're either given way too much respect, like people saying, "You should be the head of the sitcom!" Or you're given no respect, where they're like, "You should audition to be the garbage man that lives four houses down."

  Jim Gaffigan

  Crazy, Men, People

  Interview with Steve Heisler, tv.avclub.com. November 11, 2008.

  4 Copy quote

• I've had plenty of friends tell me that their first time doing stand-up, they do well, and then they tank for a while after that. Kind of like the first time you do a drug, you're like, "Huh! This is pretty darn good," and then you spend all your money trying to get the same high.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Drug, Trying, Tanks

  Interview with Noel Murray, www.avclub.com. February 28, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks.

  Jim Gaffigan

  People, Laughing, Break

  Interview with Noel Murray, www.avclub.com. February 28, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• I think it's important to control your opportunities, because in the entertainment world, it's not up to you. I'm not sitting here under this naïve belief that someone in Hollywood is going, "Gaffigan! What kind of a show can I build around him?" So you have to find things that can showcase your point of view.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Opportunity, Thinking, Views

  Interview with Noel Murray, www.avclub.com. February 28, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• There's a certain balance between finding an opportunity to do what you really enjoy and getting caught up in the flattery of people wanting you to do things.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Opportunity, People, Balance

  Interview with Noel Murray, www.avclub.com. February 28, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• A lot of people are like, "You're doing commercials?" And I honestly feel like those Sierra Mist commercials are better than a lot of sitcoms I get offered. It's hard work, and I'm paid a lot of money, and I do it because I love the soda.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Hard Work, People, Soda

  Interview with Noel Murray, www.avclub.com. February 28, 2006.

  4 Copy quote

• I should clarify that anyone that goes onstage and makes strangers laugh is insane. So I am insane.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Laughing, Insane, Stranger

  "Not My Job: Jim Gaffigan Takes A Quiz On Gwyneth Paltrow". "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" with Peter Sagal, www.npr.org. July 26, 2013.

  4 Copy quote

• I'm definitely hesitant wearing shorts during the summer. Like for a pale person, you know, summer - everyone in the world is so excited for summer, but pale people, we're just like, oh no.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Summer, People, World

  "Not My Job: Jim Gaffigan Takes A Quiz On Gwyneth Paltrow". "Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!" with Peter Sagal, www.npr.org. July 26, 2013.

  4 Copy quote

• The whole idea of comedy, there is nothing normal about going up on stage to make strangers laugh. But I'm also not an exhibitionist like other comics. I'm not up there talking about masturbating.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Talking, Ideas, Laughing

  "Q&A With Jim Gaffigan: ‘Hot Pocket’ Comedian Reaches Out to Our Wounded Soldiers (VIDEO)". Interview with Joshua Kors, www.huffingtonpost.com. May 8, 2012.

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• I don't think comedians make an active decision to be a certain "persona." Comedians write the way they're going to write.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Writing, Thinking, Decision

  "Q&A With Jim Gaffigan: ‘Hot Pocket’ Comedian Reaches Out to Our Wounded Soldiers (VIDEO)". Interview with Joshua Kors, www.huffingtonpost.com. May 8, 2012.

  4 Copy quote

• Babies and toddlers are mostly what I've been exposed to at this point. I'm hoping parenting just gets much easier after this. It does, right?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Baby, Doe, Toddler

  Jim Gaffigan (2013). “Dad Is Fat”, p.83, Crown Archetype

  4 Copy quote

• We all take Mother's Day seriously and then it's like a month later, a bunch of kids get together and say, "I guess we should do this for the old man, too." Father Day's is weird. It's like celebrating Darth Vader's birthday. It's odd I think. Even the gifts we give dads. Like neckties, which are just like a silk noose. Or books. Would you ever want someone from another generation to give you a book?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Dad, Father, Book

  Source: www.esquire.com

  4 Copy quote

• I'm a guy who comes from a small town in the Midwest. It's not in my nature to say the most explicit things in public.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Guy, Midwest, Towns

  "Why Jim Gaffigan Can't Stop Eating". Interview with J. Rentilly, www.menshealth.com. April 25, 2014.

  4 Copy quote

• I didn't choose to be the guy who talks about the mundane - it's just who I am and it's what kind of works for me.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Who I Am, Guy, Kind

  "Why Jim Gaffigan Can't Stop Eating". Interview with J. Rentilly, www.menshealth.com. April 25, 2014.

  4 Copy quote

• I was always told that Hoosier came from when settlers in the state, when a stranger came on their property they'd say, "Who's there? Who's there?" So people that were from Indiana were the people that said "Who's there?" But what do I know? I don't read or interact with people outside the Internet.

  Jim Gaffigan

  People, Indiana, Hoosiers

  "Ask Jim Gaffigan". Live chat, www.washingtonpost.com. November 28, 2007.

  4 Copy quote

• I don't understand the fashion industry and the appeal of it. I understand that there are some people who think it's important to them, and they're designers, they're artists, but there seems to be a disproportionate amount of our culture that's caught up in that and the red carpet stuff. It seems like there's a disproportionate amount of attention placed on that.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Fashion, Artist, Thinking

  Source: www.avclub.com

  4 Copy quote

• I am single, I don't drink. It's kind of hard to get a woman buzzed when you don't drink. You'll be like, "Yeah, I'll have a glass of water, you want a shot of Jäger? You want eight of 'em?"

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, Humor, Glasses

  5 Copy quote

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