Bob Hope Quotes - Page 3

Quotes about:

• Everyone's nervous these days. Ronald McDonald has hired six bodyguards, and that's just to protect his buns.

  Bob Hope

  Mcdonalds, Buns, Six

  "Bob Hope's Joke Vault Endures", www.foxnews.com. July 28, 2003.

  33 Copy quote

• The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

  Bob Hope

  Dog, Tree, Pet

  68 Copy quote

• I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.

  Bob Hope

  Blood, Best Funny, Age

  "Goodbyes" by Craig Taylor, www.theguardian.com. December 26, 2003.

  15 Copy quote

• Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn.

  Bob Hope

  Country, Worry, Over You

  5 Copy quote

• Welcome to the Academy Awards, or, as it's known at my house, Passover.

  Bob Hope

  Awards, House, Welcome

  "Oscar host Alec Baldwin may also be nominee" by Gregg Kilday, www.hollywoodreporter.com. November 30, 2009.

  27 Copy quote

• A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

  Bob Hope

  Laughter, Heart, Humor

  103 Copy quote

• I'm from Los Angeles... I don't trust any air I can't see.

  Bob Hope

  Air, Los Angeles, Don't Trust

  11 Copy quote

• Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle.

  Bob Hope

  Birthday, Witty, Funny Inspirational

  32 Copy quote

• I get upset over a bad shot just like anyone else. But it's silly to let the game get to you. When I miss a shot I just think what a beautiful day it is. And what pure fresh air I'm breathing. Then I take a deep breath. I have to do that. That's what gives me the strength to break the club.

  Bob Hope

  Beautiful, Silly, Golf

  13 Copy quote

• America is a country where the Olympics and the divorce lawyers both have the same slogan - Go for the Gold.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Country, Humorous

  6 Copy quote

• Culture is the ability to describe Jane Russell without moving your hands

  Bob Hope

  Moving, Hands, Culture

  13 Copy quote

• You never get tired unless you stop and take time for it.

  Bob Hope

  Tired, Comedy, Exhausted

  21 Copy quote

• I don't know what people have against Jimmy Carter. He's done nothing.

  Bob Hope

  People, Done, Carter

  11 Copy quote

• I can't give up Golf, I've got too many sweaters.

  Bob Hope

  Giving Up, Golf, Sweaters

  4 Copy quote

• I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.

  Bob Hope

  Hate, Inspiration, Funny Friend

  20 Copy quote

• As the colonel and I sat swapping stories in the plane, a jet aircraft buzzed past our window. I asked the colonel what type of aircraft it was, and he said, "Don't worry about it, Bob. . . if you can see it, it's obsolete."

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Humorous, Food

  9 Copy quote

• Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure.

  Bob Hope

  Girlfriend, Sex, House

  6 Copy quote

• My father told me all about the birds and the bees, the liar - I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty one.

  Bob Hope

  Witty, Sex, Father

  9 Copy quote

• I led such a sheltered life I didn't go out with girls until I was almost four.

  Bob Hope

  Girl, Four, Sheltered Lives

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

  5 Copy quote

• Eighty is when you order a steak and the headwaiter puts it through the blender. Or when you wake up as many times during the night as Burt Reynolds, but not for the same reason.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Humorous, Night

  28 Copy quote

• Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells 'Fore!' the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

  Bob Hope

  Golf, Guy, Way

  "Love of golf kept Hope tied to game" by Richard Urban, www.espn.com. January 20, 2004.

  5 Copy quote

• I've always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It's an island and the audience can't run very far.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, Running, Humorous

  5 Copy quote

• A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

  Bob Hope

  Mothers Day, Mean, Motherhood

  19 Copy quote

• If you think golf is relaxing, you're not playing it right.

  Bob Hope

  Golf, Thinking, Ifs

  9 Copy quote

• Somebody should tell Jerry Falwell that God is an Independent . . . he's not rich enough to be a Republican.

  Bob Hope

  Funny, God, Humorous

  Bob Hope (2004). “Bob Hope”, Hyperion

  10 Copy quote

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