Bob Hope Quotes - Page 2

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Age Aging Birthdays Brothers Comedy Country Drinking

I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap.

Bob Hope

Birthday, Naps, Age

59 Copy quote
The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

Bob Hope

Jesus, Pissed Off, News

73 Copy quote
Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!

Bob Hope

Funny, Humorous, America

Bob Hope (2004). “Bob Hope”, Hyperion

14 Copy quote
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.

Bob Hope

Funny, Sports, Boxing

28 Copy quote
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.

Bob Hope

Laughter, Vacation, Instant

12 Copy quote
I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?

Bob Hope

Government, Perfect, Addresses

12 Copy quote
Your ignorance cramps my conversation

Bob Hope

Ignorance, Cramps, Conversation

9 Copy quote
I can still chase women, only downhill

Bob Hope

Stills, I Can

18 Copy quote
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.

Bob Hope

Gun, Makeup, Men

Bob Hope (2004). “Bob Hope”, Hyperion

29 Copy quote
I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.

Bob Hope

Golf, Play, Age

18 Copy quote
Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?

Bob Hope

America, Support, Complaining

45 Copy quote
I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

Bob Hope

Funny, Money, America

88 Copy quote
She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.

Bob Hope

Life, Helping, Comedy

24 Copy quote
One of the greatest gifts to mankind is laughter, and one of the greatest gifts to laughter is Lucille Ball. God has her now but thanks to television, we'll have her forever.

Bob Hope

Laughter, Forever, Balls

11 Copy quote
Four of us slept in the one bed. When it got cold, mother threw on another brother.

Bob Hope

Mother, Brother, Bed

4 Copy quote
When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

Bob Hope

Music, Play, Names

72 Copy quote
My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

Bob Hope

Christmas, Xmas, Holiday

92 Copy quote
Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of some of our most useless citizens.

Bob Hope

Funny, Hope, Golf

48 Copy quote
The stealth bomber is supposed to be a big deal. It flies in undetected, bombs, then flies away. Hell, I've been doing that all my life.

Bob Hope

Bombers, Bombs, Hell

9 Copy quote
I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn't for the stuff the audience threw at me.

Bob Hope

Men, Stuff, Audience

22 Copy quote
Don't tempt me, I can resist anything but temptation.

Bob Hope

Temptation, I Can

5 Copy quote
Golf is a hard game to figure. One day you will go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and, for no reason at all, you really stink.

Bob Hope

Hope, Golf, Games

12 Copy quote
Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong.

Bob Hope

Two, Funny Marriage, Comedy

30 Copy quote
Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for.

Bob Hope

People, President, United States

10 Copy quote
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.

Bob Hope

Love, Kissing, Lazy People

Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

32 Copy quote

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Born: May 29, 1903
Died: July 27, 2003
Occupation: Comedian
Cite this Page: Citation

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