Bill Maher Quotes About Comedy

Quotes about: Comedy

• Let's make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake - you know, to send the right message to kids.

  Bill Maher

  Kids, Gay, Law

  Bill Maher (2006). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.158, Rodale

• We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It's overrun with sheep and conformists.

  Bill Maher

  Country, Sheep, People

• Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will think Americans live in an infantile fantasy land where reality is whatever we say it is and every problem can be solved with violence.

  Bill Maher

  Country, Book, Reality

• Men are only as loyal as their options.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Bill Maher (2002). “When You Ride Alone You Ride with Bin Laden: What the Government Should be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism”, Phoenix Books Incorporated

• Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case of Michael Jackson, to the kiddy pool.

  Bill Maher

  Numbers, Comedy, Pool

• Selling pot allowed me to get through college and make enough money to start off in comedy.

  Bill Maher

  Marijuana, College, Comedy

  "Bill Maher Confesses: ‘Selling Pot Allowed Me to Get Through College’" by Andrew Kirell, www.mediaite.com. September 9, 2013.

• We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I think that religion stops people from thinking. I think it justifies crazies.

  Bill Maher

  Believe, Thinking, People

  "Scarborough Country" with Joe Scarborough, www.nbcnews.com. February 15, 2005.

• To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's the person who tells you the truth. That's who my real friends are. So, you know, I think as far as our country goes, we need more people who will do that.

  Bill Maher

  Country, Real, Thinking

• I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?

  Bill Maher

  Country, Patriotic, Thinking

• This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.

  Bill Maher

  Facts, Doe, Comedy

• The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

  Bill Maher

  Phones, Color, White

• Clinton left the White House with all the class of an XFL halftime show.

  Bill Maher

  White, Class, House

• Jim Bakker spells his name with two k's because three would be too obvious.

  Bill Maher

  Hypocrite, Names, Two

• The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight.

  Bill Maher

  Tonight, Comedy, Humour

  "Bill Maher: The Decider". Documentary, Comedy, 2007.

• Recognition is one of the three big elements of comedy.

  Bill Maher

  Three, Elements, Recognition

  Source: articles.latimes.com

• To me, being brave is an element that is so important with stand-up comedy. It's not essential. There are many comics who were just funny, and that's fine, too. But that's never been what I was trying to do in comedy. I was always trying to do something that involved not pandering to the audience.

  Bill Maher

  Always Trying, Brave, Important

  Source: www.usatoday.com

• The jury could get the case as early as next week, but the defense says they just want to introduce one last-minute load of crap.

  Bill Maher

  Next Week, Defense, Want

• The comedy gods are smiling on me tonight, because I have been saying, for the longest time, that president Bush must set a timetable for removing his head from his ass...and, by god, today they went in and looked for it... They didn't find it. So now we don't know where it is, but at least for once in my life, I get to see the words "Bush", "operation", and "success" in the same sentence.

  Bill Maher

  Successful, President, Lasts

  "Bill Maher: The Decider". Documentary, Comedy, 2007.

• Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'

  Bill Maher

  Iraq, President, Pouring

• President Bush is supporting Arnold but a lot of Republicans are not, because he is actually quite liberal. Karl Rove said if his father wasn't a Nazi, he wouldn't have any credibility with conservatives at all.

  Bill Maher

  Father, President, Comedy

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