Bill Maher Quotes About Giving

Quotes about: Giving

• The New York Times - but the whole country gives it that weight. It's like the Asian kid in math class. Everybody in the media cheats off The New York Times.

  Bill Maher

  Country, New York, Kids

• Please stop assuming that longevity and perfect health is always the correct option. No. Sometimes fun costs ya. It just does, you know? And that's OK, you're willing to make that purchase. Sammy Davis, Jr. was 64 when he died. Give me 64 Sammy-years, I'll be happy.

  Bill Maher

  Fun, Years, Perfect

  "Bill Maher: Be More Cynical". Comedy, 2000.

• People say to me all the time, "I get my news from your show." And that isn't the way they should get their news. But the choice is not between getting their news the right way and getting their news from my show. The choice is that they won't get any at all unless you give it to them in an entertaining package.

  Bill Maher

  Giving, People, Choices

  "Lite Night with Bill Maher". Interview with Ana Marie Cox, www.motherjones.com. January/February 1998.

• If you think Democrats are going to take away your Bible, you're an idiot. If you think they are going to take away your gun, you're an armed idiot. If you think they're going to take away your gun and give it to a Mexican to kill your God, you're Bill O'Reilly.

  Bill Maher

  Gun, Thinking, Giving

  "Real Time with Bill Maher", April 20, 2008.

• The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'

  Bill Maher

  Phones, Color, White

• New Rule: Food companies must face the facts: One container equals one serving. Look, we’re Americans, and that means once we open the bag, there’s no stopping us until we’re licking stray bits of powdered cheese off the carpet. So stop trying to give us nutritional information based on a fraction of the package. It assumes a talent for two things that we’re really not capable of: restraint and math.

  Bill Maher

  Mean, Math, Two

  Bill Maher (2011). “The New New Rules: A Funny Look at How Everybody but Me Has Their Head Up Their Ass”, p.196, Penguin

• If you, the citizen, deliberately vote for someone who won't give you healthcare over someone who will, you need to have your head examined. Except you can't afford to have your head examined.

  Bill Maher

  Giving, Needs, Citizens

  "Real Time with Bill Maher",

• New Rule: President Bush must stop acting like WE'RE the idiots. He gives speech after speech, and the theme is always the same; 'What part of freedom don't you get, you morons?'. I'll answer that for you Mr. President. The part where you give it to people by blowing them up.

  Bill Maher

  People, Giving, Acting

• Every time somebody says 'Islamophobia' it gives the people who are intimidating cover.

  Bill Maher

  People, Giving, Intimidating

  "Bill Maher Questions Xenophobia: 'Is It Really a Phobia If You Have Something To Be Afraid Of?'". Interview With Ian Schwartz, www.realclearpolitics.com. June 26, 2016.

• New Rule: I don't give two fingleberries and a McShit-all that Dumbledore is gay. I never wanted to know who Dumbledore was in the first place. Let alone his sexuality. What concerns me is adults who read 800-page books about magic schoolboys... and then try to talk to me about it. If I had the slightest interest in homosexuals with powers, I'd be a Republican.

  Bill Maher

  Book, Gay, Two

• I believe in God, I just give him more credit than being a single parent and an author.

  Bill Maher

  Believe, Giving, Parent

• I was out at the HBO party, these are liberals, I imagine, and a lot of people came up to me and said, "Keep giving it to the president."

  Bill Maher

  Party, Hbo, People

• President Obama invited John McCain to the White House to give his opinion on Egypt, specifically what it's like to be a mummy.

  Bill Maher

  Egypt, White, Giving

• There were two Republican responses to the State of the Union. So if you watched the whole night, it was kind of evolution in reverse. You have Obama, then Paul Ryan, and then Michele Bachmann. Then Animal Planet had a squirrel monkey give his take.

  Bill Maher

  Animal, Night, Squirrels

• People do not want to be disillusioned by the new president [Barak Obama]. The liberals felt, finally, this is our time. Now they're worried. Now what they see is more business as usual. We all want to give him the benefit of the doubt, we know it's a tough job and he inherited a mess, but at the end of the day, is it really change we can believe in when there's no public options and Wall Street reform has no teeth in it? It really looks a lot like we just changed the color.

  Bill Maher

  Jobs, Wall, Believe

• It could be anything. It could be Jesus and it could be the Furby and it could be the lint that lives in my navel, but it's probably not. Whatever it is, I doubt we as humans on Earth could have any perception of it while we're here. So, why give yourself a headache thinking about it. Just be a good person. That's what an ethicist is.

  Bill Maher

  Jesus, Thinking, Giving

  "Bill Maher Gets Ridiculous with Religulous". Interview with Brian Gallagher, movieweb.com. February 16, 2009.

• All across the Middle East in the streets, people are demanding democracy. It's amazing. The only way in America you get people to get worked up like that is to threaten to give them health care.

  Bill Maher

  America, People, Giving

• There's more attention paid to entertainers than ever and less that they have to say. Not that entertainers were ever a great beacon of knowledge to begin with, but at least when the Beatles were the leaders of the culture, they had a message. It was brief; it wasn't terribly complicated. "Give Peace a Chance." "All You Need is Love." But at least they were trying. At least they had grown.

  Bill Maher

  Giving, Leader, Trying

• To give you an idea how slowly we are leaving Afghanistan, Afghans don't refer to us anymore as 'infidel crusaders.' They refer to us as 'Irish relatives.'

  Bill Maher

  Ideas, Giving, Leaving

• Recently, there's been a trend in America that I find very disturbing... rewarding immoral and illegal behavior...For example, we now give free needles to junkies, which seems to me to be only a step away from giving condoms to rapists.

  Bill Maher

  America, Giving, Example

• I don't know if anybody from my tribe of atheists ever thanked [Barack Obama] for giving us a shout-out at your first inaugural, but you did mention non-believers. We appreciate it. Because we do feel like untouchables to a degree.

  Bill Maher

  Atheist, Appreciate, Giving

  Source: www.patheos.com

• John Kerry is finding out that it is no fun to be the front runner, that's when you get all the heat. He had to deny internet rumors this week that he had Botox treatments. The Republicans say Kerry should have a clear, unfurrowed brow the old fashioned way by not giving a sh--.

  Bill Maher

  Fun, Should Have, Giving

• Religions are maintained by people. People who can't get laid, because sex is the first great earthly pleasure. But if you can't get that, power is a pretty good second one. And that's what religion gives to people. Power. Power is sex for people who can't get or don't want or aren't any good at sex itself.

  Bill Maher

  Sex, People, Giving

  "Religulous". www.imdb.com. 2008.

• The Tea Baggers, they're not a movement, they're a cult.... Cults tend to populate from within, encouraging members to have huge broods of children and to give them strange names, like Moonbeam, and Trig.

  Bill Maher

  Children, Names, Giving

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