Bill Maher Quotes About Church

Quotes about: Church

• New rule: If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in. I'll use the fire department I pay for. You can pray for rain.

  Bill Maher

  Sorry, Rain, Fire

  "Real Time with Bill Maher", February 17, 2006.

• If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.

  Bill Maher

  Church, Want, Rich

• The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Humorous, Boys

• I don't want to start a movement that mirrors religion. I don't want to create the church of the non-believers where I'm the preacher and we're all gathering together and reciting things.

  Bill Maher

  Mirrors, Church, Together

  Source: www.avclub.com

• I didn't really think a lot about religion, but I didn't really think a lot against it, either. I was one of those people who didn't go to church, but when I got in trouble I kinda pleaded with God - whoever that was.

  Bill Maher

  Thinking, People, Church

  Source: www.avclub.com

• I think the reason why more rapists go into the military is the same reason why predators go into the Catholic Church. It's a place they know they can get away with it.

  Bill Maher

  Military, Thinking, Catholic

• New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina has a sign out front that says 'Obama... Osama... Hmmm... Are they brothers?' No, they're not brothers. In fact, they're not even related, which is more than I can say for the married couples in your church.

  Bill Maher

  Christian, Brother, Couple

• Nowas you all know, this week, Pope Benedict told Vatican Radio—you know, Vatican Radio, playing the hits from the 8th century, 9th century and today—Benedict told them he was going to resign because the Church needs a fresh, young face, somewhere other than a priest's lap.

  Bill Maher

  Church, Needs, Lap

• Since the Icelandic volcano obviously needs a virgin sacrifice and the Catholic Church obviously needs new leadership the Pope must volunteer to jump in the volcano. Pontiff, don't think of it as endorsing paganism, think of it as supersizing Ash Wednesday.

  Bill Maher

  Sacrifice, Thinking, Volcanoes

• There's more than one mosque in the world that used to be a church and before that was a temple. Because it's a lot easier to just change the sign on the top and say under new management than it is to change the whole building.

  Bill Maher

  Church, Mosques, World

  "Religulous". www.imdb.com. 2008.

• When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That's something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. That's different. When they [Conservative right wing Republicans] talk about values, they're talking about things like going to church, voting for Bush, being loyal to Jesus, praying. These are not values.

  Bill Maher

  Jesus, Kindness, Thinking

  "Real Time with Bill Maher", November 5, 2004.

• We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree that we want to encourage churches and children. I don't. I don't. That's my opinion. I don't want to encourage either churches or children, and it's a very bad idea to put them together.

  Bill Maher

  Children, Ideas, Together

  "Bill Maher: I'm Swiss". Documentary, Comedy, 2005.

• I don't understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.

  Bill Maher

  Catholic, Police, Church

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