Bill Maher Funny Quotes

Quotes about: Funny

• Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Bill Maher (2010). “Does Anybody Have a Problem with That?: The Best of Politically Incorrect”, p.189, Ballantine Books

• We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Responsibility, Usa

• I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Atheist, Thinking
• 

  They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Mean, Marijuana

• Men are only as loyal as their options.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Bill Maher (2002). “When You Ride Alone You Ride with Bin Laden: What the Government Should be Telling Us to Help Fight the War on Terrorism”, Phoenix Books Incorporated

• Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Internet, Fats

  FaceBook post by Bill Maher from Mar 26, 2010

• There's a phrase we live by in America: "In God We Trust". It's right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Jesus, Atheist

• Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Atheist, Men

  "Is There A God?" by Stephen Thompson, www.avclub.com. October 9, 2002.

• I see they found out the universe is 80 million years older than we thought. It's also been lying about its weight.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Lying, Science

  FaceBook post by Bill Maher from Mar 25, 2013

• A new cologne is coming out. It's for cowboys, and it's made from cow's manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Humor, Cowboy

• Ronald Reagan came from show business. His idea of how the government should help the homeless was like your agent. "We'll try to get you work. But don't bug us about it."

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Government, Ideas

• The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Humorous, Boys

• All marriages are same sex marriages. You get married and every night, it's the same sex.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Sex, Humorous

  Bill Maher (2006). “New Rules: Polite Musings from a Timid Observer”, p.113, Rodale

• The cable TV sex channels don't expand our horizons, don't make us better people, and don't come in clearly enough.

  Bill Maher

  Funny, Sex, People

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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