Bill Maher Quotes About Taxes

Quotes about: Taxes

• New rule: If churches don't have to pay taxes, they also can't call the fire department when they catch fire. Sorry reverend, that's one of those services that goes along with paying in. I'll use the fire department I pay for. You can pray for rain.

  Bill Maher

  Sorry, Rain, Fire

  "Real Time with Bill Maher", February 17, 2006.

• If you want to get rich with a tax free enterprise that sells nothing, start a church.

  Bill Maher

  Church, Want, Rich

• If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.

  Bill Maher

  Jesus, War, Believe

  "HBO Real Time" with Bill Maher, votesmart.org. March 31, 2006.

• Your taxes are due a week from today. You can make out your check directly to Halliburton. Or you can do what I'm going to do. I'm filing my first joint return. No, I'm not getting married, I'm sending the IRS an actual joint with a note that says, 'If you think I'm paying for this war, you must be high.'

  Bill Maher

  War, Thinking, Irs

• Arnold was on the 'Today' show today, he was a little light on specifics. He said he could solve California's $38 billion budget deficit, without cutting spending or raising taxes because there was a third way. What is it? Let's just say it involves a robot going back in time to convince Gray Davis to go into dentistry.

  Bill Maher

  Cutting, California, Light

• It's that time of year again, April 15, taxes. I know it's depressing, but just remember, you're paying for roads, bridges, hospitals, and an army to keep the nation free. Unfortunately that nation is Afghanistan.

  Bill Maher

  Depressing, Army, Remember You

• If anybody is so mad at Vladimir Putin, you know what they could do? They could advocate for a gas tax. He gets all his leverage from selling gas and oil. If we had a gas tax that made that less palatable, he would be less of a player on the world stage.

  Bill Maher

  Player, Oil, Mad

• What a day for the Tea Party people. Did you see that? America's parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down, but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally.

  Bill Maher

  Party, Men, Perfectly Good

• If you're living hand-to-mouth, and still buying into the con that the big threats to America are socialized medicine, Mexican immigrants and tax increases, then you're not being kept down by the rich. You're being kept down by you.

  Bill Maher

  Hands, Medicine, America

• If you can look at a crime where everything points to one answer and not see it, you're a dumb-ass. And if you can look at the deficit and not see that the problem is that the rich stopped paying taxes, you're a Republican.

  Bill Maher

  Dumb, Looks, Paying Taxes

  "Coulter Exposes Maher As An Environmental Hypocrite". "Real Time with Bill Maher", www.newsbusters.org. July 9, 2011.

• I kid the Republicans, with love. I feel bad for them. They got nobody for next time. Who are they gonna run? Sarah Palin, reading off her hand. Did you see that? You saw this? She wrote "tax cuts" on her hand. A Republican so stupid she has to be reminded of the one thing - Tax cuts! This is like if you saw the coyote's paw and it said "Road Runner".

  Bill Maher

  Running, Stupid, Reading

  "Bill Maher... But I'm Not Wrong". Documentary, Comedy, 2010.

• Ronald Reagan was an anti-government, union-busting, race baiting, anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-intellectual, who cut rich people's taxes in half, had a incurable case of the military-industrial complex, and said Medicare was socialism that would destroy our freedom. Both sides really should stop pretending he was something other than the man most responsible for our decline.

  Bill Maher

  Military, Cutting, Gay

  "Maher: Reagan wrote GOP playbook" by Hadas Gold, www.politico.com. June 8, 2013.

• The House okayed the gasoline tax cut, which will increase the deficit, line the pockets of the oil companies, and hurt the environment; Dole said that if there was just some way this could interfere with people's sex lives, it would be perfect legislation.

  Bill Maher

  Hurt, Sex, Cutting

• More astronauts have been to the moon than farmers who paid the inheritance tax in 2013.

  Bill Maher

  Moon, Inheritance, Astronaut

• We do it all the time, we legislate taste. We do it with the tax code. Churches and children get a tax break, because it's assumed that we all agree that we want to encourage churches and children. I don't. I don't. That's my opinion. I don't want to encourage either churches or children, and it's a very bad idea to put them together.

  Bill Maher

  Children, Ideas, Together

  "Bill Maher: I'm Swiss". Documentary, Comedy, 2005.

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