Jim Gaffigan Quotes - Page 15

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• I do just want to do jokes. I don't want to be a divisive figure.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Want, Figures, Jokes

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• I don't want to pick a team. I want to make people laugh and hopefully bring some - be humorous about the human experience, you know, whether they're people of any stripes of life.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Team, Humorous, Laughing

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• I would say I'm - in the show, I'm a cultural Catholic, which is what I was.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Catholic, Shows

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• I would say that now I'm somebody who goes to church.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Church

  "Comic Jim Gaffigan On Stand-Up, Faith And Opening For The Pope". "Fresh Air" with Terry Gross, www.npr.org. September 24, 2015.

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• The DC Improv food is amazingly edible for a comedy club.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Clubs, Comedy, Comedy Clubs

  Brightest Young Things Interview, brightestyoungthings.com. November 26, 2007.

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• Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote "these are WMD's" on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Wmd, People, Pockets

  Brightest Young Things Interview, brightestyoungthings.com. May 21, 2007.

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• My new years resolution? I will be less laz.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Inspirational, Funny, New Year

  FaceBook post by Jim Gaffigan from Jan 01, 2013

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• The Thanksgiving tradition is, we gorge. Hey, what about at Thanksgiving we simply consume a considerable measure? However we do that consistently! Goodness. Imagine a scenario where we consume a ton with individuals who pester the heck out of us.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thanksgiving, Gorges, Hey

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• But in Indiana it's not like New York where everyone's like, 'We're from New York and we're the best' or 'We're from Texas and we like things big' it's more like 'We're from Indiana and we're gonna move.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Funny, New York, Moving

  "Biography/ Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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• Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Writing, Giving, Inspire

  "Jim Gaffigan talks Domino's, Law & Order, and having the gall to accept serious acting roles". Interview with Andy Seifert, www.avclub.com. January 28, 2010.

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• All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Dad, Want, Good Dad

  "Jim Gaffigan On Parenting". Interview with Chris Wright, www.esquire.com. May 6, 2013.

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• I'm kind of like a guy who's missing a little bit of the guy gene. Like, I love steak, but the notion of golfing is the last thing I would want to do. I love women, but I'm also a mama's boy, and some of my best friends are women. So I'm kinda half guy's guy.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Boys, Missing, Guy

  "The Palest Man In America". Interview with Will Harris, www.bullz-eye.com. March 27, 2009.

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• You know, I want to teach, but I don’t want to read?

  Jim Gaffigan

  Want, Teach, Knows

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• How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Thinking, Water, Dumb

  Jim Gaffigan (2014). “Food: A Love Story”, p.97, Crown Archetype

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• Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Design, Guy, Dunkin Donuts

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• Some people have their own bowling ball and their own bowling shoes... and no friends.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Shoes, People, No Friends

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• You ever read an article, and at the bottom, it says, 'Continued on page six'? I'm , 'Not for me. I'm done.'

  Jim Gaffigan

  Done, Pages, Six

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• It's good to be back in New York. I have lived here ten years. I'm originally from Indiana. I know what most of you are thinking: Indiana: Mafia. But the fact of the matter is where I grew up there was something very similar to the Mafia: 4-H.

  Jim Gaffigan

  New York, Thinking, Years

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• I'd really like to promote my increasing consumption of bacon.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Consumption

  Brightest Young Things Interview, brightestyoungthings.com. May 21, 2007.

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• I've been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we've found the earlier you get the tickets on sale the better idea you get on how many shows we will be doing.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Years, Ideas, Tickets

  Brightest Young Things Interview, brightestyoungthings.com. May 21, 2007.

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• Don't take this the wrong way but I care more and I'm a better online friend than you. I also spend way to much time online.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Care, Way, Online

  Brightest Young Things Interview, brightestyoungthings.com. May 21, 2007.

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• I would make sweet love to Don Rickles.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Sweet, Sweet Love

  Brightest Young Things Interview, brightestyoungthings.com. May 21, 2007.

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• Cancer is always funny.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Cancer

  Brightest Young Things Interview, brightestyoungthings.com. May 21, 2007.

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• That's not to say that I'm a well-informed Catholic. I'm still in idiot.

  Jim Gaffigan

  Catholic, Idiot, Wells

  Source: www.npr.org

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