Jeff Foxworthy Quotes About Comedy

Quotes about: Comedy

• That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Humorous, Phones, Comedy

• Did you know babies are nauseated by the smell of a clean shirt?

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Baby, Smell, Comedy

  "You Might Be a Redneck If…". Album by Jeff Foxworthy, 1993.

• I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I'd spent about half the day in the woods.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Real, Golf, Play

• I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Graduation, Jealousy

• I don't know why my brain has kept all the words to the Gilligan's Island theme song and has deleted everything about triangles.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Song, Humor

  "The Tonight Show", March 27, 2007.

• You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  "You might be a redneck if". Book by Jeff Foxworthy, 1989.

• If you have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Kool Whip on the side, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  Interview with Paul Harris, www.harrisonline.com. May 30, 1996.

• If you own a home with wheels on it and several cars without, you just might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Home, Humor

• You might be a redneck if... the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Book, Humor

• If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Home, Humor

• I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  People, Southern, Comedy

• My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Fathers Day, Humor

  FaceBook post by Jeff Foxworthy from Jun 25, 2012

• Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wife, Funny Marriage, Looks

• The more excited the rooster gets, the higher his voice goes. He's got a little bit of a Barney Fife quality to him.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Voice, Quality, Roosters

• The stuff that made me mad 20 years ago doesn't really make me mad any more.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Years

• If your working television sits on top of your non-working television, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie", www.imdb.com. 2003.

• Little girls love dolls. They just don't love doll clothes. We've got four thousand dolls and ain't one of them got a stitch of clothes on.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Girl, Humor

• Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Grandmother

• Have you ever seen people so ugly that you have to get someone else to verify it?

  Jeff Foxworthy

  People, Ugly, Comedy

• I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Country, Humor

• If men have a smell it's usually an accident.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Men

• Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Pride

• I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  White, House, Trying

• I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it, it takes another two or three hours a day. I don't want to give two or three more hours away.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Two, Giving, Doe

• I love comedy. God has given me this platform.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Comedy, Platforms, Given

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