Jeff Foxworthy Quotes About Wife

Quotes about: Wife

• You might be a redneck if your wife wants to stop at the gas station to see if they've got the new Darrell Waltrip Budweiser wall clock.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wall, Redneck, Wife

• You might be a redneck if you dated your daddy's current wife in high school.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  School, Redneck, Daddy

• My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Fathers Day, Humor

  FaceBook post by Jeff Foxworthy from Jun 25, 2012

• Now, it's true I married my wife for her looks... but not the ones she's been givin' me lately.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wife, Funny Marriage, Looks

• Buying a used rental car is kind of like going to a house of ill repute looking for a wife. Anything that's been driven that hard by that many people, you really don't want to put your key in it.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Keys, People, Wife

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour: The Movie". www.imdb.com. 2003.

• If your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan, you might be a redneck.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Redneck

• You take a normal guy, give him a wife, give them time, and you've got AN IDIOT!

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Humor, Giving

• I got my wife a mood ring. It works real good! When shes in a good mood it turns blue, but when shes in a bad mood theres a red mark across my forehead

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Real, Blue, Wife

• You might be a redneck if your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Beer, Redneck, Wife

• It's not my dreams that get me in trouble, it's what my wife dreams I did. My wife punched me in the middle of the night; I woke up and went Oww! What was that for?, and she goes I dreamt you were making out with Faith Hill. I said I wasn't dreaming anything! Send her over to my dreams, and we'll both be happy.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Dream, Night, Wife

• I've got nothing against tattoos. I don't have one myself. If I did, it would be right there next to my watch. It would say "Your wife's birthday is August 2nd, your anniversary is September 18th, don't let Ron White drive your car again."

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Tattoo, White, August

  "Blue Collar Comedy Tour: One for the Road", www.imdb.com. 2006.

• You break into my house, I will shoot you. My wife will shoot you and then spend thirty minutes telling you why she shot you.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Wife, House, Break

  Audio CD "Totally Committed", 1998.

• My wife is like, You finally get your own TV show, you can have any kind of car you want and you get a darned truck. But my brother and I have the same kind of truck now.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Brother, Tv Shows, Wife

• You might be a redneck if your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Redneck, Wife, Vienna

• I notice my wife when she's on the phone with her friends, man they will share every animate details of their lives with each other. See men once we become friends with another man we may never say another word to him, unless there's valuable information that needs to be exchanged. Things like "Hey Jim, your shirt's on fire."

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Funny, Friendship, Humor

• You might be a redneck if taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Queens, Mean, Redneck

  Jeff Foxworthy (2004). “You Might Be A Redneck If ...This Is The Biggest Book You've Ever Read”, p.97, Thomas Nelson Inc

• If you think 'loading the dishwasher' means 'getting your wife drunk', you might be a redneck

  Jeff Foxworthy

  Mean, Redneck, Thinking

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