Dana Gould Quotes

Quotes about:

• Competition is the death of art.

  Dana Gould

  Art, Competition

  46 Copy quote

• That which does not kill you usually circles around and tries again.

  Dana Gould

  Circles, Trying, Doe

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Jun 06, 2012

  5 Copy quote

• We all enter this world in the same way: naked, screaming, soaked in blood. But if you live your life right, that kind of thing doesn't have to stop there.

  Dana Gould

  Crazy, Blood, Live Your Life

  22 Copy quote

• Being funny is not the same as being happy.

  Dana Gould

  Being Funny

  "Brains Behaving Badly: Why So Many Comedians End Up Self-Destructing" by Dana Gould, www.rollingstone.com. August 27, 2014.

  5 Copy quote

• Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.

  Dana Gould

  Pride, Cupcakes, Watches

  9 Copy quote

• Is it still okay to make fun of schizophrenics? There's a little voice in my head that says no.

  Dana Gould

  Fun, Voice, Littles

  9 Copy quote

• Just because one pedophile is a football coach, please don't turn against all pedophiles.

  Dana Gould

  Football, Please, Turns

  4 Copy quote

• Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.

  Dana Gould

  Home, Perfect One, Knives

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Oct 08, 2012

  22 Copy quote

• Take away the robots and the special effects, and Star Wars is just the simple story of a group of friends planning a terrorist attack.

  Dana Gould

  Stars, War, Simple

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Jul 29, 2013

  11 Copy quote

• Did you know that Dog Heaven and Cat Hell were the same place?

  Dana Gould

  Dog, Cat, Heaven

  9 Copy quote

• The only thing that will stop a bad guy with a pressure cooker bomb is a good guy with a slightly larger pressure cooker bomb.

  Dana Gould

  Guy, Bombs, Pressure

  8 Copy quote

• That which does not kill you isn't finished.

  Dana Gould

  Doe, Finished

  7 Copy quote

• When all the people covered in tattoos turn about 70 years old, they're going to look like a strange race of melting clowns.

  Dana Gould

  Tattoo, Race, Years

  10 Copy quote

• If there's one thing worse than being really angry for no reason, it's suddenly remembering the reason.

  Dana Gould

  Being Real, Remember, Reason

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Sep 27, 2012

  7 Copy quote

• Love means never having to say you're sorry. Marriage means apologizing when you know you're right.

  Dana Gould

  Sorry, Mean, Apologizing

  7 Copy quote

• Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.

  Dana Gould

  Want, Loser, Want To Be Happy

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Aug 07, 2012

  10 Copy quote

• When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.

  Dana Gould

  Time Management, Management, Break

  8 Copy quote

• If God had wanted women to have giant, fake boobs he'd be a lot like my brother.

  Dana Gould

  Brother, Fake, Giants

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Apr 10, 2012

  5 Copy quote

• The man who invented instant pudding was moved to action by an inability to wait for pudding.

  Dana Gould

  Men, Waiting, Inability

  4 Copy quote

• In the midst of all the candy and commercialism, let's not lose sight of the true meaning of Halloween: tree worship and animal sacrifice.

  Dana Gould

  Halloween, Sacrifice, Animal

  14 Copy quote

• My fantasy football team got mixed up in another fantasy and now they're stuck on a pirate ship with a chick in a Catwoman suit.

  Dana Gould

  Football, Team, Pirate

  9 Copy quote

• Every day is a gift. That said, I've gotten some pretty shitty gifts over the years.

  Dana Gould

  Years, Said

  8 Copy quote

• Cotton candy. Like eating a cloud of diabetes.

  Dana Gould

  Clouds, Cotton, Eating

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Aug 13, 2013

  12 Copy quote

• For men there are costumes like fireman, policeman and vampire. For women there are costumes like slutty fireman, slutty policeman and slutty vampire.

  Dana Gould

  Men, Vampire, Costumes

  5 Copy quote

• A lot of people are looking for their soul mates. Along the way, it's nice to bump into some genital pals.

  Dana Gould

  Nice, People, Soul

  FaceBook post by Dana Gould from Jul 18, 2013

  5 Copy quote

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