Greg Proops Quotes

Quotes about:

• If Iraq's weapons are weapons of mass destruction, surely ours are weapons of growth and nurturing.

  Greg Proops

  Iraq, Mass Destruction, Growth

  45 Copy quote

• Now, we're Americans. Technically, who is from this country? Only the Indians, who we graciously let dwell on their native casinos.

  Greg Proops

  Country, Casinos, Native

  13 Copy quote

• Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love.

  Greg Proops

  Falling In Love, Believe, People

  14 Copy quote

• Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading. Nobody does it so why talk about it?

  Greg Proops

  Sex, Reading, Talking

  14 Copy quote

• Honesty and unpopular opinions are the toughest sell in a country with an irony-deficiency.

  Greg Proops

  Country, Honesty, Irony

  11 Copy quote

• White pants should be worn on two occasions: One, never. And two, if you're selling ice cream.

  Greg Proops

  Ice Cream, Two, White

  15 Copy quote

• It doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are, there was always someone who thought you were cool.

  Greg Proops

  Matter

  11 Copy quote

• No one is a natural - you have to work at being a natural.

  Greg Proops

  Natural

  12 Copy quote

• If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you can go to Canada any day of the year. It's an entire country named Doug.

  Greg Proops

  Country, Years, White

  11 Copy quote

• I would never advocate the use of dope because, you know, I'm not a professional athlete and I don't have access to the good stuff.

  Greg Proops

  Athlete, Dope, Use

  4 Copy quote

• I love the nightlife. I like to boogie.

  Greg Proops

  Nightlife, Boogie

  13 Copy quote

• I like to go to England, and I'll tell you why. I like to go to a country where I am considered the best-looking person. It's as simple as that. Hollywood, kind of a crushing ego blow - 'Hey Buddy Holly, you are so old, have you not perished in a plane crash?' But not in England, good God, not there. In England, God bless that dinky island, there it's, 'Good God, look at him. He has all his teeth and his ears are in proportion to his head.' I'm Brad bloody Pitt on that island.

  Greg Proops

  Crush, Country, Blow

  14 Copy quote

• I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want.

  Greg Proops

  Animal, Splits, Want

  9 Copy quote

• You leave white people alone in constant isolation for 2,000 years, and you know what their musical contribution will be? Riverdance!

  Greg Proops

  Years, White, People

  9 Copy quote

• You can't smoke in a restaurant in Los Angeles, which is mildly ironic, when you consider the fact that you can't breathe outside a restaurant in Los Angeles.

  Greg Proops

  Ironic, Facts, Breathe

  5 Copy quote

• I think if you steal well, you're a genius. If you copy badly, you're a hack.

  Greg Proops

  Thinking, Genius, Stealing

  9 Copy quote

• If you do not find me funny, that is your problem and I am not going away.

  Greg Proops

  Going Away, Problem, Find Me

  6 Copy quote

• We don't know anything about Scottish history. All we know is that an American guy painted his face blue and somehow they won.

  Greg Proops

  Blue, Guy, Faces

  10 Copy quote

• Ever since you're little you hear this: 'The pilgrims left England to escape religious persecution and sneak religious freedom into the new world.' But even when you're little you're like, 'Umm.. Bullsh*t?'

  Greg Proops

  Religious, Funny Thanksgiving, World

  7 Copy quote

• And eat lots of mints, it fools the cops.

  Greg Proops

  Fool, Cop, Mint

  10 Copy quote

• Arizona changes its state motto to Damn, it's hot.

  Greg Proops

  Hot, Arizona, Motto

  8 Copy quote

• I have to hear this all the time in England: Well, all Americans are fat and stupid, mm-hm-hm-hm-hm. Really? Well, thanks for sending over the best and brightest to start the party. Maybe we can send a few freaky, Texas, militia, hate-group, gun-toting weirdoes back to your country.

  Greg Proops

  Country, Hate, Stupid

  "Comedy Central Presents/ Greg Proops". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1999.

  7 Copy quote

• People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around.

  Greg Proops

  Believe, People, Looks

  6 Copy quote

• I would like to thank ABC for giving me the Drew Carey award. It only goes to one lucky guy with glasses a year, and gosh darn it, tonight I'm the king of the... general area.

  Greg Proops

  Kings, Glasses, Years

  6 Copy quote

• I work for a few at home who are devoted. People who are up now. Either they have some sort of bladder problem or they're extremely drunk. This is my crowd, these are the people I hope to get.

  Greg Proops

  Home, People, Drunk

  4 Copy quote

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