Greg Proops Quotes - Page 2

Quotes about:

• You're in a bar - grow up. You're drinking poison. You're trying to have sex unsafely with someone you don't know. Is secondhand smoke really the chiefest of your health concerns at this point?

  Greg Proops

  Sex, Growing Up, Drinking

  4 Copy quote

• Oh, I don't wear a bathing suit. I wear a tent when I go out.

  Greg Proops

  Tents, Suits, Bathing Suits

  7 Copy quote

• I understand that smoking is vaguely inappropriate in certain situations. You know, like an orphanage, cancer ward, whatever.

  Greg Proops

  Cancer, Smoking, Inappropriate

  8 Copy quote

• I don't want comedy to be Bridesmaids 2. I'm not denigrating Bridesmaids but, enough already, let's stop pretending women are incalculably different to us. Seeking out podcasts, listening on headphones, it's like an intimate, specific conversation. People respond if it feels from the heart. I'm as neurotic a human being as lives, and I have my faults. I'm a drunk. But people really like that.

  Greg Proops

  Heart, Enough Already, People

  4 Copy quote

• I don't come on to seduce the audience. I don't care if everyone laughs. I can't think about that anymore. If there's anything that a lot of experience on stage and a lot of stage time gives you is the confidence to know that it's ok if they're not laughing every second you're up there. Although that's what drives me and I still go too fast a lot of the time.

  Greg Proops

  Confidence, Thinking, Giving

  4 Copy quote

• Yo. I'm from Beverly Hills, and I be pimpin'.

  Greg Proops

  Beverly Hills, Hills

  5 Copy quote

• My feeling is, we ran from animals for three million years. It's our time now. If a cow could eat you, it would. And it wouldn't care how comfortable your truck ride over was, either.

  Greg Proops

  Animal, Years, Feelings

  5 Copy quote

• I think comedy should be left up to the professionals, that way everyone's safety is protected.

  Greg Proops

  Thinking, Safety, Way

  5 Copy quote

• I'm old and my knowledge is strictly horizontal.

  Greg Proops

  Knowledge, Horizontal

  6 Copy quote

• In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy.

  Greg Proops

  Beautiful, Our World, Comedy

  7 Copy quote

• I'm all for dropping lawyers into any war time situation.

  Greg Proops

  War, Lawyer, Dropping

  7 Copy quote

• I like the night life, I like to boogy.

  Greg Proops

  Night, Murderer

  7 Copy quote

• Animals have two vital functions in today's society; to be delicious and to fit well.

  Greg Proops

  Animal, Two, Today's Society

  7 Copy quote

• Tequila is like acid in a glass.

  Greg Proops

  Glasses, Acid, Tequila

  4 Copy quote

• I just feel like history is very much alive and important and I don't, you know, I can't worry about whether people get it or not, per se.

  Greg Proops

  People, Worry, Important

  4 Copy quote

• I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy.

  Greg Proops

  College, Guy, Want

  4 Copy quote

• I'm always looking for that place, you know, where there's no rednecks, that place where people get along, and I never find it. I went to Australia, right, and I thought Australia was gonna be a groovy, surfnoid, smoke-a-joint wombat, you know? 'G'day mate!' 'No worries!' And it's like Arkansas with a beach. It's a whole country with a 'No Fat Chicks' sticker on it.

  Greg Proops

  Country, Beach, Redneck

  7 Copy quote

• Let me tell you about Australia. It's really, really, really, far from wherever you live on Earth. You fly and you fly and you fly. Then relativity takes over and you get younger and younger. And when you land, you're a gleam in your father's eye.

  Greg Proops

  Father, Eye, Land

  4 Copy quote

• I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one.... And I am proud.

  Greg Proops

  Glasses, Proud, Know Me

  4 Copy quote

• Contact lenses are for vain, weak-willed piglets who swan around showing off: 'Look everybody, I can see without spectacles. No one at first glance will ever assume I know how to surf the net.'

  Greg Proops

  Swans, Piglet, Lenses

  4 Copy quote

• Think about everything you read and everything you see. The one thing we can learn from all the horrible things that have happened in the last 15-20 years is that hysteria is the last thing we need. Cool thinking, pragmatism, and analytical thought are most important at this point.

  Greg Proops

  Thinking, Years, Hysteria

  4 Copy quote

• President Clinton celebrates the first casual Friday at the white house by wearing leather chaps.

  Greg Proops

  Friday, White, House

  5 Copy quote

• Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are slightly less treacherous than people who don't need them and do-like every shallow Hollywood star who wants to be taken seriously.

  Greg Proops

  Stars, Taken, Glasses

  4 Copy quote

• How would you like to make money in real estate?

  Greg Proops

  Real, Making Money, Estates

  4 Copy quote

• Don't say 'No,' say 'Gilbert,' ladies and gentlemen.

  Greg Proops

  Gentleman, Ladies And Gentlemen

  4 Copy quote

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