God created war so that Americans would learn geography.
If the apocalypse comes...beep me!
There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.
Besties before testes.
You'd be amazed how much research you can get done when you have no life whatsoever.
It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.
What a fine weather today! Can’t choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Humility is so shy. If you begin talking about it, it leaves.
A great way to learn about your country is to leave it.
Sometimes two people stay together for the sake of the kids - two kids who sat under a full moon and pledged to be forever true.
When in doubt, blow something up.
Get out the rye bread and mustard grandma, cause it's GRAND SALAMI TIME!
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off.
It seems that for success in science or art, a dash of autism is essential.
On second thought, I think I am more crazy than my goat.
At 50, a man can be an ass without being an optimist but not an optimist without being an ass
I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.
If debugging is the process of removing software bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
I came here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I'm all out of bubble gum.
A Christmas tree--the perfect gift for a guy. The plant is already dead.
Most of you are familiar with the virtues of a programmer. There are three, of course: laziness, impatience, and hubris.
Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
If you believe in Odin and Thor, people laugh themselves to death. While it's okay to believe in a man who turned water into wine, and walked on water
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