Comedy Quotes - Page 23

• People call me a socialist sometimes. But, no, you gotta meet real socialists. You'll have a sense of what a socialist is.

  Barack Obama

  Money, Wall, Real

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• I am a little jet lagged from my trip to Malaysia...The lengths we have to go to to get CNN coverage these days.

  Barack Obama

  Cnn, Politics, Littles

  "Transcript: Obama remarks at White House Correspondents' Association dinner", www.foxnews.com. May 4, 2014.

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• These days, the House Republicans actually give John Boehner a harder time than they give me. Which means orange really is the new black.

  Barack Obama

  Party, Mean, Orange

  "Obama jokes about bad 2013 at press corps dinner". "AM with Sabra Lane", www.abc.net.au. May 5, 2014.

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• Obviously [my daughters] - and Michelle - have made a lot of sacrifices on behalf of my cockamamie ideas, the running for office and things.

  Barack Obama

  Family, Running, Daughter

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• I know CNN has taken some knocks lately but the fact is, I admire their commitment to covering all sides of the story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate.

  Barack Obama

  Taken, Commitment, Cnn

  "Obama cracks on Rubio's limited experience". articles.sun-sentinel.com. April 29, 2013.

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• For the first time in our history, the winners of the White House Turkey Pardon were chosen through a highly competitive online vote. And once again, Nate Silver completely nailed it. The guy is amazing.

  Barack Obama

  Leadership, Nature, Turkeys

  "Obama pardons two Thanksgiving turkeys with mercy and humour" by Adam Gabbatt, www.theguardian.com. November 21, 2012.

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• Let's face it, Fox News, you'll miss me when I'm gone. It'll be harder to convince the public that Hillary Clinton was born in Kenya.

  Barack Obama

  Missing, News, Gone

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• It's so much more fun to watch FOX when it's someone else being blitzed & sacked!

  Hillary Clinton

  Fun, Watches, Politics

  "Clinton delivers big hit with tweet, but who was target? Obama or Fox News?", www.foxnews.com. February 3, 2014.

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• To all the young people out there who think money and fame is important: that's only a small piece of the pie. You need an education to be totally secure in life. I feel very secure I can go get a real job now.

  Shaquille O'Neal

  Leadership, Education, Wisdom

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• The most common occupation for women in G rated films is royalty - which is a great gig, if you can get it.

  Geena Davis

  Family, Work, Reality

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• Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not 'content creator'?

  Lena Dunham

  Queens, Drama, Individuality

  Twitter post from Jun 01, 2014

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• So are all the kids on the East Coast repeating school next year? Get ready to see a lot of hairy eighth graders. Storm brain drain.

  Olivia Wilde

  Education, Kids, School

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• I still have that new senator smell.

  Cory Booker

  Work, Smell, Politics

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• I would rather die than be in the United States Senate. I would be bored to death. Could you imagine me, banging around that chamber with 99 other people, asking for a motion on the amendment in the subcommittee? Forget it...You'd watch me just walk out and walk right into the Potomac River and drown. That would be it.

  Chris Christie

  Leadership, Work, Reality

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• America is just so weird in what they think is right and wrong. Like, I was watching 'Breaking Bad' the other day, and they were cooking meth. I could literally cook meth because of that show. It's a how-to. And then they bleeped out the word 'f__k'. And I'm like, really? They killed a guy, and disintegrated his body in acid, but you're not allowed to say 'f__k'? It's like when they bleeped 'molly' at the VMAs. Look what I'm doing up here right now, and you're going to bleep out 'molly'?

  Miley Cyrus

  Leadership, Wisdom, Reality

  "Miley Cyrus: Confessions of Pop's Wildest Child" By Josh Eells, www.rollingstone.com. September 24, 2013.

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• With comedy, I like to not rehearse and just have fun with it, because I think being spontaneous is the best thing for a comedy, in my opinion.

  Diora Baird

  Fun, Thinking, Opinion

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• [Hillary Clinton] and I are fine. Are we going to be besties for the rest of our lives? No.

  Claire McCaskill

  Reality, Human Nature, Civility

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• I would do almost anything Tina Fey asks me to do.

  Nancy Pelosi

  Leadership, Community, Politics

  "Nancy Pelosi Appearing on '30 Rock' Series Finale" by Michael O'Connell, www.hollywoodreporter.com. January 03, 2013.

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• The Republicans tend to choose the candidate who came in second place in the last election, and Democrats tend to move on. Ask President Ed Muskie how it worked out to be the front-runner. Ask President Howard Dean how it worked out.

  Brian Schweitzer

  Leadership, Moving, President

  "I Do Not Trust Politicians". Interview with David Weigel, www.slate.com. January 6, 2014.

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• Trust me, when they read the [Oscar] results, my face was...frozen. But then I thought about it, and I just decided just to...let it go.

  Pharrell Williams

  Individuality, Let It Go, Frozen

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• An actor must communicate his author's given message--comedy, tragedy, serio- comedy; then comes his unique moment, as he is confronted by the looked-for, yet at times unexpected, reaction of the audience. This split second is his; he is in command of his medium; the effect vanishes into thin air; but that moment has a power all its own and, like power in any form, is stimulating and alluring.

  Eleanor Robson Belmont

  Power, Unique, Air

  Eleanor Robson Belmont (1957). “The Fabric of Memory”

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• I'm not a player, I'm an alien...My focus is on winning championships. I don't focus on anything else. Aliens only want to win championships.

  Metta World Peace

  Winning, Player, Focus

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• With comedy, if you write something for me, I'm better at it. I'm not sure I'm so good at improvisational stuff.

  Robert Knepper

  Writing, Stuff, Not Sure

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• 'Buried Alive' is a little scary, but also a comedy at the same time.

  Tobin Bell

  Scary, Alive, Littles

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• Steven Alan Green is ONE funny writer ---- Everything I read of yours makes me laugh and think - Not just the kind words about meBut the insights you have for the Comedy racket.You're Barbara Hershey, we are beaches.

  Taylor Negron

  Beach, Laughter, Thinking

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