Eddie Izzard Quotes About Comedy

Quotes about: Comedy

• If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Elephants, Acid

  "Eddie Izzard: Definite Article". Documentary, Comedy, 1996.

• I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Sarcastic, Sarcasm

  "Eddie Izzard: Glorious". Documentary, www.imdb.com. 1997.

• I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Witty, Coffee

  "Eddie Izzard: Glorious". Video, www.imdb.com. 1997.

• I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.

  Eddie Izzard

  Comedy, Dies

• Never put a sock in a toaster.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Witty, Humorous

  Twitter post from Feb 21, 2015

• And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Sex, Night

  "Eddie Izzard: Definite Article". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1996.

• There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD!

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Snowboarding, Two

  "Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill". www.imdb.com. 1999.

• Drama is a complete meal, vitamins, proteins, carbohydrates. It's a slow burn thing. It's got an arc. Comedy is more like coke.

  Eddie Izzard

  Drama, Meals, Coke

  2004 In The Guardian, 17 May

• I've done a bit of Latin in my time...but I can control it.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Latin, Done

  "Eddie Izzard: Definite Article". Documentary, Comedy, www.imdb.com. 1996.

• Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. This is true, they proved this one. The word dyslexia was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Kids, Scrabble

  "Eddie Izzard: Stripped". Documentary, Comedy, 2009.

• Religion and philosophy, philosophy and religion - they're two words which are both ... different. In spelling.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Philosophy, Two

  "Eddie Izzard: Live at the Ambassadors". Comedy, 1993.

• I am two lesbians in a man's body.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Men, Two

• Someone's killed 100,000 people. We're almost going, "Well done! You killed 100,000 people? You must get up very early in the morning! I can't even get down the gym. Your diary must look odd: 'Get up in the morning, death, death, death, death, death, death, death - lunch - death, death, death - afternoon tea - death, death, death - quick shower ...' "

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Morning, Lunch

  "Eddie Izzard: Dress to Kill". Documentary, Comedy, 1998.

• No matter how much makeup I wore, people just kept saying "Yes, sir! Would you like tea with that, sir?" "Yes, I would like tea. Why don't you put it on my breasts?" "Certainly. Tea for this man's breasts! Anything else, sir?"

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Makeup, Men

  "Eddie Izzard: Sexie". Documentary, Comedy, 2003.

• Makeup's just crazy, anyways. Native Americans used to wear it, and it did all right for them until, uh ... well, until you killed them all, I suppose.

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Crazy, Native American

  "Eddie Izzard: Circle". Documentary, Comedy, 2000.

• There's not much makeup in the army, is there? No. They only have that nighttime look, and that's a bit slapdash, isn't it?

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Army, Makeup

• Charles Darwin wrote a famous book in 18 [gibberish]. And that book was an interesting book, cuz it was called "Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-Monkey-You".

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Book, Interesting

  "Eddie Izzard: Stripped". Documentary, Comedy, 2009.

• If I were Achilles I would put my foot in a f**k off block of concrete!

  Eddie Izzard

  Funny, Sarcastic, Block

• So the American government lied to the Native Americans for many, many years, and then President Clinton lied about a relationship, and everyone was surprised! A little naive, I feel!

  Eddie Izzard

  Native American, Government, Years

• MAC gave me 55 lipsticks to test. These are the same lipsticks I got caught stealing by the police when I was 15. How ironic.

  Eddie Izzard

  Police, Ironic, Tests

• They tend to come out a colour called 'Pants left in wash'

  Eddie Izzard

  Pants, Comedy, Colour

• I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.

  Eddie Izzard

  Mean, Comedian, Acting

• Well, comedy is a great weapon of attack. It's not a great weapon of support.

  Eddie Izzard

  Support, Weapons, Comedy

  "Straight talking" by Aida Edemariam, www.theguardian.com. December 1, 2008.

• I wanted to be less well-known in comedy.

  Eddie Izzard

  Comedy, Well Known, Wells

  Interview with Amelie Gillette, tv.avclub.com. September 11, 2007.

• The bottom line of comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of drama is to be truthful. You can be truthful and funny, but if you're not truthful in a drama than the audience leaves you.

  Eddie Izzard

  Drama, Lines, Comedy

  "Eddie Izzard Talks TREASURE ISLAND, Possibility of a Sequel, and MUNSTERS Reboot MOCKINGBIRD LANE". Interview with Christina Radish, collider.com. May 1, 2012.

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