Funny Relationship Quotes - Page 7

• I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.

  Rita Rudner

  Break Up, Broken Heart, Heartbroken

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• To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

  Rita Rudner

  Inspirational, Funny, Hilarious

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• Women are cursed, and men are the proof.

  Roseanne Barr

  Valentines Day, Men, Funny Valentine

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• If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty.

  Benjamin Franklin

  Love, Beauty, Sex

  Benjamin Franklin (2007). “Poor Richard's Almanack”, p.41, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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• Our greatest joy and our greatest pain comes in our relationships with others.

  Stephen Covey

  Relationship, Broken Heart, Pain

  Stephen R. Covey, A. Roger Merrill, Rebecca R. Merrill (1995). “First Things First”, p.197, Simon and Schuster

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• Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.

  Sharon Stone

  Funny, Relationship, Sexy

  73 Copy quote

• More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

  Doug Larson

  Love, Relationship, Anniversary

  38 Copy quote

• Relationships give us a reason to live. Revenge.

  Ronnie Shakes

  Relationship, Revenge, Dating

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• The fundamental glue that holds any relationship together is trust.

  Brian Tracy

  Relationship, Money, Together

  Brian Tracy (2005). “Create Your Own Future: How to Master the 12 Critical Factors of Unlimited Success”, p.156, BookBaby

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• Problems in relationship occur because each person is concentrating on what is missing in the other person.

  Wayne Dyer

  Relationship, Missing, Self Centered

  101 Copy quote

• I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't.

  Patrick Murray

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  54 Copy quote

• To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

  Helen Rowland

  Love, Being Happy, Men

  Irvin S. Cobb, Mary Roberts Rinehart, Helen Rowland, Richard Saunders (2017). “We Should All Be So Feminine: We Should All Be a Feminist: We Should All Be Feminists”, p.81, Lulu.com

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• I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.

  Phyllis Diller

  Cute, Birthday, Age

  Phyllis Diller (1981). “The joys of aging--and how to avoid them: can sex keep you young? And other silly questions”, Doubleday Books

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• I don't understand you. You don't understand me. What else do we have in common?

  Ashleigh Brilliant

  Common, Understand Me, You Don't Understand Me

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• To know when to go away and when to come closer is the key to any lasting relationship.

  Domenico Cieri

  Relationship, Soulmate, Keys

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• I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

  Chelsea Handler

  Funny, Humor, Sleep

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• When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks.

  Rita Rudner

  Relationship, Children, Love You

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• The same passions in man and woman nonetheless differ in tempo; hence man and woman do not cease misunderstanding one another.

  Friedrich Nietzsche

  Relationship, Sarcastic, Passion

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• My wife made me join a bridge club... I jump off next Tuesday.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Humor, Suicidal

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• My ex-boyfriend can round last night, which was weird because I didn't know he was in a coma.

  Jo Brand

  Ex Boyfriend, Night, Lasts

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• When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer.

  John Gray

  Relationship, Money, Men

  John Gray “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”

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• Of course 'we humans' have a funny relationship with the beings with whom we share our planet. We eat them, we care for them, we admire them, we use them.

  April Gornik

  Use, Care, Share

  "Our Real Wealth" by April Gornik, www.huffingtonpost.com. July 14, 2010.

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• I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

  Bob Monkhouse

  Horse, Wife, Fairs

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• If I love you, what business is it of yours?

  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

  Love, Life, Ifs

  Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe (1983). “Who Is Goethe?”, Suhrkamp Pub Ny

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• A bachelor's life is no life for a single man.

  Samuel Goldwyn

  Funny, Witty, Stupid

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

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