Funny Relationship Quotes - Page 3

• I don't mind my wife having to last word. In fact I'm delighted when she reaches it.

  Walter Matthau

  Wife, Mind, Lasts

  36 Copy quote

• I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them.

  Jay McInerney

  Love, Life, Witty

  Twitter post from Jan 09, 2013

  128 Copy quote

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• Guys are like dogs. They keep comin' back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time, they're gone.

  Lenny Bruce

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  125 Copy quote
• 

  Assumptions are the termites of relationships.

  Henry Winkler

  Love, Funny, Relationship

  120 Copy quote

• Women have all the power because women have all the vaginas.

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Relationship, Humor

  34 Copy quote

• Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

  Oscar Wilde

  Funny, Marriage, Sexy

  101 Copy quote

• Before marriage, a man will lie awake thinking about something you said; after marriage , he'll fall asleep before you finish saying it.

  Helen Rowland

  Love, Funny, Marriage

  47 Copy quote

• The more I know about men the more I like dogs.

  Gloria Allred

  Funny, Dog, Men

  55 Copy quote

• Think lovingly, speak lovingly, act lovingly, and every need shall be supplied.

  James Allen

  Love, Relationship, Thinking

  73 Copy quote

• The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are.

  Stephen Covey

  Relationship, Duplicity, Important

  Stephen R. Covey (2016). “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change Interactive Edition”, p.228, Mango Media Inc.

  59 Copy quote

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• Relationships dont always make sense. Especially from the outside

  Sarah Dessen

  Relationship, Couple, Make Sense

  Sarah Dessen (2009). “Along for the Ride”, p.165, Penguin

  16 Copy quote

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• good girls go to heaven and bad girls go everywhere

  Helen Gurley Brown

  Funny, Hilarious, Girl

  77 Copy quote

• Love is an endless mystery, for it has nothing else to explain it.

  Rabindranath Tagore

  Love, Inspiration, Hair

  Rabindranath Tagore, Mohit Kumar Ray (2007). “Poems”, p.455, Atlantic Publishers & Dist

  33 Copy quote

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• The quarrels of lovers are like summer storms. Everything is more beautiful when they have passed.

  Suzanne Curchod

  Beautiful, Summer, Motivation

  7 Copy quote

• If we are incapable of finding peace in ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere.

  Francois de La Rochefoucauld

  Relationship, Solitude, Finding Peace

  49 Copy quote

• Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there.

  George Burns

  Relationship, Funny Love, Love You

  George Burns (1988). “Gracie/Caeser Spec Ed”, Putnam Publishing Group

  94 Copy quote

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• I remember the first time I had sex - I kept the receipt.

  Groucho Marx

  Sex, Goggles, Firsts

  55 Copy quote

• There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

  Oscar Levant

  Inspirational, Funny, Depression

  "Biography/Personal Quotes". www.imdb.com.

  119 Copy quote

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• I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic.

  Woody Allen

  Funny, Beautiful, Sex

  53 Copy quote

• There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love.

  Oscar Wilde

  Love, Relationship, Anniversary

  31 Copy quote

• Sex and pizza, they say, are similar. When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, you get it on your shirt.

  Mike Birbiglia

  Sex, Shirts, Pizza

  5 Copy quote

• Presence is more than just being there.

  Malcolm Forbes

  Parenting, Focus, Romance

  70 Copy quote

• Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.

  William James

  Love, Relationship, Marriage

  65 Copy quote

• They gave each other a smile with a future in it.

  Ring Lardner

  Happiness, Smile, Wedding

  47 Copy quote

• My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.

  Chuck Palahniuk

  Sex, Teenager, Cynical

  Chuck Palahniuk (2001). “Choke: A Novel”, Anchor Books

  9 Copy quote

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