Funny Relationship Quotes - Page 5

• It's a funny relationship that makeup artists have. I always feel kind of like a dentist. People look at me and think of pain.

  Rick Baker

  Pain, Artist, Makeup

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• Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

  Ogden Nash

  Relationship, Marriage, Funny Birthday

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• We talk about the quality of product and service. What about the quality of our relationships and the quality of our communications and the quality of our promises to each other?

  Max De Pree

  Relationship, Communication, Promise

  22 Copy quote

• I'm still going on bad dates when by now I should be in a bad marriage.

  Laura Kightlinger

  Dating, Bad Marriage, Should

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• When a man is in love or in debt, someone else has the advantage.

  Bill Ballance

  Love, Men, Debt

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• You can always tell when the relationship is over. Little things start getting on your nerves, 'Would you please stop that! That breathing in and out, it's so repetitious.'

  Ellen DeGeneres

  Breathing, Nerves, Littles

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• I do wanna get married. It just sounds great. You get to go grocery shopping together, rent videos, and the kissing and the hugging and the kissing and the hugging under the cozy covers. Mmmm! But sometimes I worry that I don't wanna get married as much as I want to get dipped in a vat of warm, rising bread dough. That might feel pretty good, too.

  Maria Bamford

  Relationship, Kissing, Shopping

  "Comedy Central Presents (Maria Bamford)". TV Series, July 2, 2001.

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• The woman is increasingly aware that love alone can give her full stature, just as the man begins to discern that spirit alone can endow his life with its highest meaning. Fundamentally, therefore, both seek a psychic relation to the other, because love needs the spirit, and the spirit love, for their fulfillment.

  Carl Jung

  Relationship, Men, Psychics

  "Contributions to Analytical Psychology". Book by Carl Jung, p. 185, 1928.

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• When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman.

  Garry Shandling

  Funny, Sleep, Legs

  137 Copy quote

• It was the love of love, the love of swallows up all else, a grateful love, a love of natural, of people, of animals, a love ingengering gentleness and goodness that moved meand that I saw in you

  William Carlos Williams

  Love, Grateful, Animal

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• Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.

  Charles M. Schulz

  Echoes, Empty, Mailboxes

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• My heart's in the right place. I know, 'cuz I hid it there.

  Carrie Fisher

  Love, Witty, Funny Valentines Day

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• We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks- if we agree with him.

  Mark Twain

  Men, Thinking, Confusion

  Mark Twain (2014). “Mark Twain on Common Sense: Timeless Advice and Words of Wisdom from America's Most-Revered Humorist”, p.18, Skyhorse Publishing, Inc.

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• The General was essentially a man of peace, except in his domestic life.

  Oscar Wilde

  Men, Luck, Domestic Life

  Oscar Wilde, Peter Raby (2008). “The Importance of Being Earnest and Other Plays: Lady Windermere's Fan; Salome; A Woman of No Importance; An Ideal Husband; The Importance of Being Earnest”, p.306, Oxford Paperbacks

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• The appropriate age for marrige is around eighteen and thirty-seven for man

  Aristotle

  Men, Age, Seven

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• Seek Not Every Quality In One Individual.

  Confucius

  Relationship, Quality, Individual

  Confucius (2016). “Delphi Collected Works of Confucius - Four Books and Five Classics of Confucianism (Illustrated)”, p.507, Delphi Classics

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• A lot of people wonder how you can tell if you're really in love. Just ask yourself this question: 'Would I mind being financially destroyed by this person?'

  Ronnie Shakes

  People, Mind, Wonder

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• Love, honor, and negotiate.

  Alan Loy McGinnis

  Relationship, Honor

  Alan Loy McGinnis (2003). “The Friendship Factor: How to Get Closer to the People You Care for”, p.209, Augsburg Books

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• The only people who make love all the time are liars.

  Louis Jordan

  Love, Liars, Lying

  "Fictional character: Gaston Lachaille". "Gigi", www.imdb.com. 1958.

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• He took his misfortune like a man - he blamed it on his wife.

  Bob Phillips

  Men, Wife, Misfortunes

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• It was a perfect marrige. She didn`t want to and he couldn`t

  Spike Milligan

  Perfect, Want

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• Nothing is more cheerful than talking about our friends' shortcomings.

  Mason Cooley

  Talking, Cheerful, Shortcomings

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• In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?

  Warren Hutcherson

  Funny, School, Humor

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• Even when I begin with a situation that's basically funny or sad,
  I like to keep poking around in it.
  I like to get into the middle of a relationship,
  to explore the subtle places.

  Paul Mazursky

  Subtle, Middle, Situation

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• Marriage is like a 5,000- piece jigsaw of the sky.

  Cathy Ladman

  Sky, Pieces, Jigsaw

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