Funny Relationship Quotes - Page 4

• To wear your heart on your sleeve isn't a very good plan; you should wear it inside, where it functions best.

  Margaret Thatcher

  Inspirational, Motivational, Positive

  1987 Interview, ABC TV, 18 Mar.

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• Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

  Leonardo da Vinci

  Marriage, Funny Love, Hands

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• I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west.'

  Richard Jeni

  Funny, New York, Thinking

  "A few words from Richard Jeni". www.cnn.com. March 12, 2007.

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• I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.

  Will Rogers

  Marriage, Divorce, Way

  8 Copy quote

• A man who correctly guesses a woman`s age may be smart, but he's not very bright.

  Lucille Ball

  Funny, Smart, Men

  49 Copy quote

• I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

  Rodney Dangerfield

  Funny, Marriage, Hilarious

  68 Copy quote

• However good or bad you feel about your relationship, the person you are with at this moment is the "right" person, because he or she is the mirror of who you are inside.

  Deepak Chopra

  Relationship, Mirrors, Deep Thought

  Deepak Chopra (2008). “Path To Love: Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Love You Need”, p.4, Random House

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• Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts. And don't put up with people that are reckless with yours.

  Kurt Vonnegut

  Love, Inspirational, Relationship

  16 Copy quote

• A man who marries a woman to educate her falls victim to the same fallacy as the woman who marries a man to reform him.

  Elbert Hubbard

  Relationship, Marriage, Fall

  14 Copy quote

• I strongly believe that love is the answer and that it can mend even the deepest unseen wounds. Love can heal, love can console, love can strengthen, and yes, love can make change.

  Somaly Mam

  Believe, Love Is, Unseen

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• The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.

  Thomas Merton

  Relationship, Spiritual, Inspirational Love

  318 Copy quote
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  You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.

  Erica Jong

  Love, Witty, Women

  154 Copy quote

• I never make stupid mistakes. Only very, very clever ones.

  John Peel

  Clever, Mistake, Stupid

  "Personal Quotes/ Biography". www.imdb.com.

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• Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

  A. Whitney Brown

  Funny, Military, Humorous

  91 Copy quote

• In the algebra of psychology, X stands for a woman's heart.

  Ambrose Bierce

  Heart, Psychology, Algebra

  7 Copy quote

• I have a funny relationship to language. When I came to California when I was three I spoke Urdu fluently and I didn't speak a word of English. Within a few months I lost all my Urdu and spoke only English and then I learned Urdu all over again when I was nine. Urdu is my first language but it's not as good as my English and it's sort of become my third language. English is my best language but was the second language I learned.

  Mohsin Hamid

  California, Three, Nine

  Source: www.barnesandnoble.com

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• I believe marriage is a relationship between a man and a woman.

  Mitt Romney

  Believe, Men, Eternal Friendship

  "Activists celebrate Obama's support for gay marriage". "The World TODAY" with Timothy McDonald, www.abc.net.au. May 10, 2012.

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• I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.

  Edward de Bono

  Cute Relationship, Hair, Loyal

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• Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we're doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They're very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.

  Jerry Seinfeld

  Sex, Men, Hands

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• Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.

  Paul Rodriguez

  Funny, War, Teaching

  20 Copy quote

• Love is the expansion of two natures in such fashion that each include the other, each is enriched by the other.

  Felix Adler

  Relationship, Fashion, Inspirational Love

  "Life and Destiny". Book by Felix Adler, 1903.

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• The key to a good relationship is the key. Give me back the key.

  Ronnie Claire Edwards

  Relationship, Keys, Giving

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• Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? "Damn I got to get the hell out of here!" "What was I thinking!"

  Dave Attell

  Funny, Sex, Humor

  TV Series "Comedy Central Presents" ("Dave Attell", 1999), (1998– ).

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• The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love.

  Bill Cosby

  Funny, Relationship, Marriage

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• We mistakenly assume that if our partners love us they will react and behave in certain ways - the ways we react and behave when we love someone.

  John Gray

  Relationship, Way, Assuming

  John Gray (2012). “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships”, p.10, HarperCollins UK

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