Funny Valentine Quotes

• If you have only one smile in you give it to the people you love.

  Maya Angelou

  Inspirational, Life, Smile

  Maya Angelou (2012). “The Collected Autobiographies of Maya Angelou”, p.424, Modern Library

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• Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

  Jay Leno

  Funny, Romantic, Valentines Day

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  I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach.

  Elizabeth Barrett Browning

  Love, Valentines Day, Cute Boyfriend

  1850 Poems,'Sonnets from the Portuguese', sonnet 43.

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• If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you.

  A. A. Milne

  Love, Friendship, Birthday

  "Winnie-the-Pooh: The House at Pooh Corner". Book by A. A. Milne, 1928.

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• Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

  Groucho Marx

  Love, Funny, Witty

  153 Copy quote

• What the world really needs is more love and less paper work.

  Pearl Bailey

  Love, Romantic, Valentines Day

  "Weekly World News" Magazine, Vol. 26, No. 33, April 25, 2005.

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• Men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Funny Valentines Day, Men

  William Shakespeare (1998). “As You Like It”, p.57, Courier Corporation

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• Love is a game that two can play and both win.

  Eva Gabor

  Love, Valentines Day, Fun

  Biography/Personal Quotes, www.imdb.com.

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• True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.

  Erich Segal

  Love, Inspiring, Valentines Day

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  For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

  Judy Garland

  Love, Funny, Romantic

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• Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone - we find it with another.

  Thomas Merton

  Love, Valentines Day, Fate

  Thomas Merton (1979). “Love and Living”, p.32, Macmillan

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  When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.

  Mark Twain

  Love, Marriage, Wisdom

  Mark Twain (2012). “Mark Twain at Your Fingertips: A Book of Quotations”, p.126, Courier Corporation

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• I require only three things of a man. He must be handsome, ruthless and stupid.

  Dorothy Parker

  Marriage, Wedding, Stupid

  Dorothy Parker, Stuart Y. Silverstein (2009). “Not Much Fun: The Lost Poems of Dorothy Parker”, p.19, Simon and Schuster

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• Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.

  William Shakespeare

  Love, Boyfriend, Valentines Day

  'Hamlet' (1601) act 2, sc. 2, l. [115]

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• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

  Dorothy Parker

  Funny, Anniversary, Valentines Day

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• A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years.

  Rupert Brooke

  Love, Relationship, Valentines Day

  60 Copy quote

• I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

  Rita Rudner

  Love, Funny, Life

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  Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.

  Robert A. Heinlein

  Love, Life, Positive

  Robert A. Heinlein (1987). “Stranger in a Strange Land”, p.340, Penguin

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• The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead.

  Ann Landers

  Being Happy, Funny Inspirational, Funny Valentines Day

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• No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

  Henry A. Kissinger

  Love, Funny, Leadership

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• My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

  Rita Rudner

  Boyfriend, Marriage, Breakup

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• Always get married in the morning. That way if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted the whole day.

  Mickey Rooney

  Funny, Marriage, Wedding

  "Philip French's screen legends" by Philip French, www.theguardian.com. May 15, 2010.

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• Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day.

  Jay Leno

  Valentines Day, Men, Names

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• No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along!

  Joyce Brothers

  Love, Relationship, Funny Valentines Day

  "7 Tips From a Seasoned Woman for Finding True Love" by Joy Weston, www.huffingtonpost.com. September 5, 2014.

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• I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

  Jonathan Swift

  Funny, Inspiration, Being In Love

  1738 Polite Conversation, dialogue 2.

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